What If I Can't Wait?

Earlier in the week, I was invited to an event ... that didn't really go as planned ... technical difficulties & such.  I arrived "on time" and while our host was scurrying around trying to get everything up & running, I visited with his other friends & guests.

Met some very cool people there.  Each one had a vision ... a mission ... a passion ... a story.

One of the ladies shared some of her poetry while we were waiting.  She even went to her car to get her hand-written draft of a piece that came to her as she was driving one day.  It was a description of her perfect man ... partner ... friend.

Amazing.  After reading the desires of HER heart, I told her that she captured vividly ... in her own words ... what so many women were searching for ... longing for ... including me. 

It reminded me of the very long, in-depth description of my perfect man that came from the humorous eharmony experiment ... right after my divorce. The one that resulted in ZERO matches in the entire universe of eharmony  ... not a single man out of the 10 million subscribers ... that would fit me ... even imperfectly.

Of course, I shared the story with her ... and the others hanging out there drinking punch & eating cookies.  It's one of my favorite stories, after all.  Especially when I add the part about how I went back 2 years later and took the whole personality analysis thing ... again ... printed out the description of my perfect man ... again ...

And in the side-by-side, line-by-line comparision ... the two were almost 100% identical ... only a sentence or two that came back slightly different in the second attempt ...

Seriously.  What are the odds of that happening?  Answering a hundred or so random questions ... two years apart ... and coming up with the same results ...

Yep.  Same description of the perfect man.  Same number of matches on eharmony ... ZERO.

Interesting thing is ... if I take her simple lines of poetry and lay them on top of the eharmony description ... it's the perfect  outline of the multi-page narrative ... very, very powerful message ... in that encounter.

It's a God-thing. No doubt.

In a totally different conversation this week ... about totally different things ... the subject of match.com was raised by a friend.  It was about the other person's experiences there ... not mine.

Still it reminded me of the time that a friend who lives very far away ... and hadn't seen me in years & years at the time ... decided that she was going  to "help" me find some interesting men  ... because she was worried about me ... not dating since my divorce.

She put in three key words that she thought described me ... she picked them out of a story I had shared where one of my closest male friends had told me what he thought were the best things about me ... she said she liked what he said & the adjectives she chose were ones that described the MJ she remembered, too.

So three key words ... an age span of 5 years younger to 5 years older ... located in a 100 mile radius of my zip code ... not too specific ... she was positive she would come up with a variety of interesting men for me.

The results came to me in an email.  With her hypothesis for the experiment ... and the not-so-surprising result ...

There was only ONE match. Only one man in the entire universe of match.com who was "looking" for a woman "just like me".

Her advice, though, was to subscribe to match.com IMMEDIATELY and send this man a message ... because after reading his essay "there is no doubt that he is looking for you, MJ!"

Click. Open profile.  It was hilarious. 

The man in the picture knew exactly where to find me ... then .. that was 2 years ago ... he still does ... whatever.

All of my single friends ... male AND female ... are looking for someone ... to share a little bit of life.  That's pretty much what we were talking about when match.com came up.  It's like the wal-mart for dating ... all of the different sites ... lonely people hoping to find magic ... browsing through pictures & essays ... sending messages to strangers hoping that they are really who they say they are ...

It's never worked for me.  The online dating thing. 

During the course of our conversation, I shared my idea of what a great relationship looks like ... and the highlights of what I was looking for in a man.  My friend shook his head.  "It'll never happen, MJ.  You're never going to find that.  It doesn't exist."

He's probably right. 

Still I know what I want ... I even have it in writing so I don't forget who I'm looking for ... twice confirmed with a third blessing over it now.

Randomly, online dating ... has come up all through the week.  People sharing stories about how they've met people through match.com, eharmony and the like ... or they've known people who have found their "perfect" partner that way. 

It works for some people ... sometimes ... I know.

Since I don't believe in coincidences, I figured there might be some reason why all of these "match" references were popping up.  So out of curiosity, I decided to do a little "browsing" just to see if there were any new faces since my last look a couple of years ago. 

Imagine my surprise.  There was a profile on there ... of a man who sounds just right for me ...

And, no, it's not the one that turned up as the "only" match in the past ... even though he is still to be found there ... apparently still looking ...

Anyway ... back to the story ... if the man who ... in his own words ... described exactly what I shared with my friend over lunch ... is really who he says he is ... and really wants what he says he wants ... then he might might be looking for me ... and, if so ...

He won't find me there ... on match.com.

Do you think I should tell him? 
Or do you think he will figure it out on his own?

What if I can't wait?

http://www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com/
(c) Mary Jane Sawyer 2010