... then not so good ... but really ... It's all good.
Rather randomly, I tossed my phone into the washing machine on Saturday. Not sure how THAT happened. But it did.
And I melted down. Totally out-of-character for me. To let something as dumb as that send me over the edge.
It's just that I have been so concious of slowing down ... being still ... listening ... and hearing all of the messages ... finding some pieces that actually fit in my puzzle ...
I wasn't expecting such a blind-side. Imagine that.
A friend was laura-on-the-spot with a replacement.
Within minutes ... problem solved.
And still I was overwhelmed ... hyper-ventilating ... over-reacting in a hand-wringing frenzy.
She set me straight when I arrived to pick up the cute little pink razr.
"You threw your phone in the washer so that I could help you."
That's what she said. Then she shared all of the reasons WHY that was the case. She was right.
I was totally humbled.
Yesterday my horoscope spoke of my "heart's desire". Of course, the context was romantic, love drivel. Still. It made me pause.
It's been quite a long time since I received a message that referenced the "desires of my heart". It's a personal promise from God ... to me ... one that I know He will keep because He always keeps His promises.
The first one came on December 31, 2004. The day that life as I knew it changed forever. The mailman delivered the letter in the midst of the chaos & confusion.
It referenced Psalm 37:4.
"Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart."
and he will give you the desires of your heart."
The weeks & months that followed brought that same message back to me ... specifically ... time after time after time.
Once I even got confirmation in my fortune cookie:
God will give you the desire of your heart.
That was the first time I knew for sure that God was speaking to me through fortune cookie notes. I still have that one.
It was very cool.
Yes, I have pondered the "desires of my heart" on occasion. I am pretty sure that somehow it's something more real & important than the "romantic love" espoused in my horoscope over the weekend.
I know what I think I want ... the life I want to be living ... but is that REALLY the desire of my heart?!?!
*sigh* maybe I should just punt ...
Ok, I'll take Door #3, Monty ...
When I mowed on Saturday ... prior to the washing incident ... my little rabbit followed behind me in his frolicsome fashion ... and then later after the turmoil ... he was roaming around the yard enjoying the fresh cut grass ...
Randomly ... Del made references from the platform in church yesterday to "chasing rabbits" and "making simple things complicated" ... for real ... he did.
Both comments made me smile.
.... lost for words ... lost in love ... sweetly broken ...
wholly surrendered ...
Sang some more ...
...and time is in His hands ... How great is our God ...
Then God ... through Del ... spoke directly to me ...
Yep. Indeed He did. Imagine that.
Somewhere in the beginning of His friendly prodding ... Del said something about how God finds "willing partners" ... to do what He needs done ...
Let's don't go there ... "willing partners" ... indeed ...
The message was simple ...
Most people live "in order to" instead of "because" ... and that's what makes life so complicated ...
You see, real life comes out of our brokeness ... not out of our success. That's what Del said.
Life is way simpler than we humans make it.
A friend shared that with me last week .. & he expanded on that idea ...
Too many times we get caught up in trying to figure something out and end up missing the 'event". Sometimes the simplest answer is truly the right answer. The answer has to be simple because everyone in the world regardless of their intellect has to be able to understand the message.
It is a simple message. "Jesus loves me..and so does God".
By golly ... I think he's on to something.
When messages come to me in waves, I know that's it important & that I should pay attention ... so when this quote posted up on Facebook ... I felt the nudge ...
"Anyone can make the simple complicated. Creativity is making the complicated simple."~Charles Mingus
Really, MJ. Just relax. It's all so simple ... if you just let it ... be simple.
Working the deal.
Del say that's what a lot of us do as we go about our lives. Always doing something in order to make something else happen ... to get what we want ... because, of course ... we all know exactly what we want ... and have it all figured out ... how to get it ...
... and then we wonder how everything gets so messed up ... so complicated ...
When it's really so simple.
Give of yourself out of "because" and not "in order to" ... and you will find your heart's desires.
God's gonna give me EVERYTHING I need. Really. He is. So why not accept what He is offering instead of trying to hold out for something better?!?
Like I could ever come up with something better on my own.
That's a hard one. Accepting what God is sending my way instead of trying to figure out how to get what I think I want. As if I even have a clue.
I suffer from a serious case of "failure to receive" ... I admit it ... openly ... it's just so much easier to "give ...
Receiving ... that would mean being open somehow ... to let someone step a little closer ... you know, letting them actually see my vulnerability ... isn't it enough that I "give" of myself so freely!?! Do I really have to "receive"?!?
So my cute little pink phone ... it has picture of a little dog that reminds me of Pete as the background. It makes me smile everytime I open it. And the ringtones my friend had on there are very cool, too.
I chose "Blessed be the name of the Lord" as the one for my text messages ... at least until I get a new phone of my own & can go back to my "Twilight Zone" one.
It's appropriate, you know.
... you give and take away ... you give and take away ...
... and still my heart will say ...
Blessed Be The Name Of The Lord ...
My friend said she has had that phone all rigged up and waiting just for me ... to need it ... for a long time ... we both laughed.
It's something like that ... no doubt.
The desires of my heart. God knows what those are. He's the one who placed them there ... in my heart ... after all.
You're almost there, MJ.
Turtle pondering ... maybe what you need to do is ask a different question ... that's the answer I've been searching for ... a different question.
And God ... through Del ... provided it ... right on time ... & in their typical double-teaming fashion ... the question was boldly projected onto the screen ... so there would be NO WAY for me to not GET IT ...
"Can I be a 'giving" person who knows HOW to 'receive?"
Once I allow myself to start "receiving" ... then ... and only then ... will I be a blessing from God in the life of someone else.
My horoscope said that I couldn't expect to get what I wanted if I didn't ask for it ... my heart's desire ...
It's really that simple.
www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com
(c) Mary Jane Sawyer, 2010
It is difficult to receive... a skill to be learned... especially to "givers". We rob people of the joy of giving when we do not receive with a smile ... and humility.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right! And I really don't ever want to rob anyone of their joy ... next time I am in that uncomfortable place of not knowing how to receive, I will try to focus on the fact that my "receiving" is actually "giving" joy to someone else.
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