Yesterday morning ... very, very early ... Jessi had gotten up to fix her sausage biscuit. She pushed the start button on the microwave and amdist the routine hum came the message:
I love you THIS much !!!
Startled, I said to Mary Hall, "Did you hear THAT?!?!" Sound asleep, she mumbled, "WHAT?!? It's just the microwave."
In a couple of minutes the house was still & quiet again as Jessi & I went about our morning routines ... and Mary Hall slept.
I love you THIS much !!!
Clear & true ... no mistaking the voice ... the words hung in the air ...
"Did you hear IT?", I prodded her again.
"Yes, MJ, I did."
Amazing, it was simply amazing. And 6 times in the next hour the little bear shared it's message ... having sat silently on the piano in the living room for the last 6 months. There was no rhythm or pattern to it's speech.
Sometimes the sentiment was repeated in quick succession ... IloveyouTHISmuch.IloveyouTHISmuch ... followed by long pauses and then the simple statement deliberately spoken ... outloud.
If you aren't familiar with the little bear and it's message ... it first spoke to us during the filming of STEP AWAY FROM THE STONE (March 30, 2010 post "Bear Hugs).
A little stunned ... yet somehow not totally surprised ... I retrieved the bear from it's perch on the piano. You know, trying to figure out what triggered it ... TODAY ... after such a long silence.
By design, it only speaks when it's arms are pulled apart ... widespread ... inviting you into a friendly embrace ...
As if to say, step a little closer ... come on in ... it's ok to be open ...
I showed Mary Hall ... as I did earlier in the year ... how there was no way it could be a short in it's mechanism ... or a battery running down ... how you had to literally pull the arms apart to make it talk to you ...
She said, "Are you sure?"
Well, yeah, I'm SURE ...
I showed her ... again ...
How it worked .
Gently, she took the little bear from me. And after a few attempts, she squeezed the little bear and it's arms popped open ... on it's own ...
Ohhhhh ... that's how it's supposed to work ...
You can make it talk to you by pulling it's arms apart ... deliberately demanding it to speak ... on cue ...
But, truth is, it was designed to respond to a touch ... in a special place ... firm, consistent contact persuades the little bear to respond naturally ... on it's own ...
The message is the same ... either way ... right?!?
Then my horoscope stated "The love and support of others should really help to boost your self-confidence today." It went on to say I shouldn't be afraid to take a few chances.
That's what I've been doing. Experimenting in vulnerability ... in what I thought was a safe, controlled environment ... where the outcome was predictable ... only to find, once again, that things aren't really as they seem ... or ever easy ...
At least not for me.
A few chances ... that 's what it said, MJ ... don't become discouraged or give up too soon ... take a FEW chances.
Validation followed ... in the cosmic words of The Universe:
" ... much love from your invisible friends .."
My invisible friends ... my visible friends ... offering their encouragement & support ... as I wander down this new path ... vulnerability.
A day or two ago, I received a lovely bejeweled turtle from my friends who recently joined their lives. With a warm note reminding me that it's ok ... it's time ... for me to stick my neck out ... to quit cozying up inside my protective shell ... to allow someone else to catch a glimpse of the real ME inside ...
After all, it was there ... in their side yard ... on the eve of their wedding ... that my turtle stopped me in my tracks ... touching me in a special way ... gently pressing me to open up ... naturally ... on my own ...
I love you THIS Much!!!
... ok, I am wrong.
And Mary Hall's right.
It's important.
And I slowly but surely ... I am getting it.
(c) Mary Jane Sawyer, 2010
"Definitely loved this message."
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