Merry Christmas!

Yesterday was a GREAT day! And a whole lot of cool stuff has been happening over the last couple of weeks....and honest, I have a whole blog about serendipity on the way.....just need a time to sit down and put it all together in a way that's meaningful.....

...so for now, one quick story.....at an event last nite I had the pleasure of re-encountering a very special person from my past. It has been 22 years since I saw her last.....when I moved away from a career path that I had embraced wholeheartedly....and family & friends who had sustained me....

....actually she was the second person I re-encountered yesterday from my past....the other was from a little farther back....with a 33 year span from then until now....and there she was....looking just as fresh & vital as when we were teenagers.....but that's another story....

in our conversation last nite, I shared with my long-ago friend about my experience on Christmas Eve....at a church service where her father was preaching...I had forgotten that it was going to be HER father there when I went....only after I sat in the pew waiting did it dawn on me who he was.....and I wondered about her then.....

Today, I sent her the blog I posted about the experience because I thought it might be meaningful to her....and when I re-read it as I copied into the email for her.....I realized that it wasn't a random, chance encounter last nite......nothing ever is.....and that I needed to be reminded of that message once again.....and since I had not established this blogspot at the time, I am posting it here TODAY as if it was new.....because really, Christmas isn't just a day....or a season.....it's life.....real....geunine.....life.....when you live in the NOW!

Thursday, December 25, 2008
Christmas Eve

For a week or so, I have known that I wanted to go to a Christmas Eve service...not just ANY one.....a specific one at a specific church. This was the first Christmas Eve that I can even remember when I was most likely going to be attending a service by myself....which was perfectly ok with me.

So I kept finding little reasons to make it impractical to go....too tired....too much to do....thought it was at 7 and it was 8....really didn't want to go to a "strange" church all by myself....yada yada yada.....but in the end, I simply went.

It wasn't exactly a strange church......I know that I have been there many times in my life...just maybe not in adulthood. As I sat listening to the pre-service music, it crossed my mind that maybe I had not actually been in the sanctuary there since I was 16 and attended the funeral of a teenage friend. It reminded me of the story....of that friend....lost so at such an early age....and reinforced my intent to encourage those close to me to embrace their stories instead of hiding from them.

When I arrived, I sat midway up on a pew that was completely empty.....and as the church filled up, people began squeezing in other places and no one sat on the entire pew. It started to make me uncomfortable...as if I was a leper or something. I guess it was because I was a "stranger" in their midst......and it was awkward somehow.

Eventually a woman about my age.....who was alone....came and sat down on the end....and then a family filled up the remainder of the pew. Sitting in front of me was a couple....and children....and I believe grandparents. They looked so familiar to me..especially the woman. I am POSITIVE that I know her somehow. When it came time to greet one and other I was going to speak to her because the feeling of familiarity was sooooo strong.....but she left the pew before I could speak. Her husband turned and spoke to me and he, too, seemed vaguely familiar but not with the same intensity. At the end of the service, I was going to speak again.....but she headed for the rear of the church before the actual dismissal.....and left her family to follow at a much slower pace.....made me wonder if somehow it was me she was avoiding.....wish I could place her...it was a little unsettling....

Traditional church....traditional candlelight Christmas Eve service....which is precisely what I went for.....it was beautiful! I expected the dry, bland Protestant sermon.....full of scripture but not very lively.....God, however, had other plans....

...and since I had been so INCLINED....so DRAWN....to be THERE....I am not sure why I was so surprised when the message was FOR ME.....yes, MJ, it IS ok to BELIEVE!!!

It was about joy. Joy. That's been a struggle for me as I have been winding down 2008. Those of you who know me at all know that I have been "choosing happy" for quite sometime. It's a great attitude and for the most part has worked well for me.

But "choosing happy" can be hard work and exhausting at times! And in the weeks since Thanksgiving, I have been afraid that possibly I was beginning to loose some of my "joy" which has been the one thing that has kept me going through the minefield that has been life for the last 3 years.

The message was simple. We are all caught up in pleasure. It's the American way. Seeking all things that are fun.....physically gratifying....easy.....frivolous....good for a momentary high. And we are GOOD at pleasure. Yet quickly, like any other fix, it leaves us high and dry.....empty....emotionally drained.....unfulfilled.....and craving more.

Joy is much deeper....much richer.....and more subtle than pleasure. Joy is the by-product of a life filled with purpose. It doesn't come and go....like pleasure...it is more foundational....an intrinsical part of the spirit.....it is an outward reflection of God in you.

I needed to hear that. As sat in the pew with the beautiful carols being played and sang throughout the service....I closed my eyes and spent some intimate (yes, people were all around me!) time with God.

It was reassuring to know that as uncertain as I am ....and confused......and impatient....that God is constant, unchanging, unwavering, faithful....

Merry Christmas!

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