Boomerang ...

I know some people ... who have been playing with boomerangs.

Actually, they aren't just "people I know" ... they are friends ... people that I care about ... a whole lot.

Playing with boomerangs is a little less risky than playing with fire.  At least it seems that way at the time.  You just throw it out there ... frisbee-style ... and watch it fly into the distance.  And sometimes, if thrown with enough force it soars completely out-of-sight ...

... out-of-sight ... out-of-mind .... those boomerangs fly ...

Until they return ... to smack you in the head ... sneaking up on you ... when you least expect it ... sometimes the impact is so great it knocks you completely off of your feet.

What goes around ... comes around.

Yeah.  Actions have consequences.  So do choices.  Choices are actions, after all.  Standing still ... not choosing ... IS an action ... in a passive agressive kind of way ...

Sometimes what comes around is good.  But generally, that phrase is only tossed about when it's got something to do with negative consequences ... payback ... or plain & simple stupidity.

It's hard to know what to do for your friends when the "comes around" comes around.  Espeically when you saw it coming all along .. from the moment they let that boomerang fly.

Not being an "I-told-you-so" kind of person, the only real option is to sit on the sidelines and watch the game ... unfold ... play-by-play ... hoping that the pass isn't intercepted ... that the fumble is recovered ... that the rebounding wins the game in the end.

The consequences are often steep.  Painful.  And expensive. And I'm not just talking about money.

Mistakes are made ... lessons are to be learned from them.  Minimizing the behavior or trying to justify the misguided actions that brings someone to the consequences would be wrong.  At times, the temptation to rub the puppy's nose in the wet spot & toss 'em out the back door is almost impossible to resist. 

Seriously, sometimes the direct, deliberate, honest approach is the only way to go.

Still ... it hurts ... to watch people that you care about ... hurt.  And it seems cruel to point out to them that there's no one to blame for what's happening other than themselves.  No one wants to hear that. 

Really.  They don't.

My friends know that I am always going to be honest with them.  About my mistakes ... my shortcomings ... and that I am probably not going to sugarcoat the truth when it comes to the big stuff in their lives either.

It doesn't mean that I am not going to be supportive ... or encouraging ... because I am .

Or that I will abandon them because they messed up somehow ... because I won't.

I'm always going to be there ... for my friends ... no matter what trouble they find themselve in ... time after time after time ...

I might shake my head in amazement when it takes them several "goes arounds" to get it ... and I will be the first on my feet applauding them when they finally figure it out ... whatever IT is.

Of course, I have no room to talk.  I've tossed out a few boomerangs in my time.  Some of them are just now finding their way back ... to MY back ... I am still reeling from the impact of some of them ... fortunately a few of them have landed gently at my feet.

A friend said to me, "You know, MJ.  It's harder to be a friend ... your friend ... than this whole falling-in-love thing."  That was a year or so ago. 

He was right ... even though he made it sound like it was almost too much trouble ... or something.  Time will tell whether it really is too hard, I guess ... somehow time always tells.

Isn't it funny how there are so many people who wander in and out of our lives who say a lot of things ... but never anything that sticks with us ... that matters ... or is important ?!? 

And others, no matter what they say ...  it causes us to pause ... to consider another point of view ... to maybe even change direction ... or wonder who we are?!?

Being a friend means being honest.  Telling the truth even if it's hard to do at times.  Sticking around to pick up the pieces when the puzzle scatters all over the floor.  It's believing in someone ... even when what they say or do is so totally wrong.  It's saying I'm sorry when you mess up ... it's offering forgiveness in return.

It's loving unconditionally.

At least that's what it means to me.

...and maybe it IS harder than the whole "falling-in-love" thing ... I don't really know much about that ...

Guess I will just keep tossing out a boomerang from time-to-time ... investing a bit of myself into the lives of the people I care about ... and who knows when or where I will find my passion ... but it will be there in one of those "comes arounds" ... I just know it.

The odds are in my favor.

One in ten million.

www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com
(c) November 2010