Musings....

So here's my horoscope for today....

Cancer - Saturday, Sep 26th, 2009 -- Your life tightens up a notch as the cautious Capricorn Moon enters your 7th House of Partners. You may feel as relaxed as ever, yet others seem to be overly anxious now -- and their anxiety can rub off on you. Remember, you don't have to adjust your emotions to match someone else's just because you care. Establishing sensible boundaries will ultimately make everyone involved happier.

Random tidbits from interesting conversations this week.....

"If you're #2, then WHO do you think is #1?!?" Yeah, right......and I was supposed to respond to that?!?! Actually, I did respond. I said "That's your call....only you know who is #1 to you."

Then there was the enlightening philosophy of dating conversation last nite where the bottomline was reluctantly acknowledged by the man involved that "Men don't have sex with women they have come to KNOW and really like because they don't want to mess that up...the friendship part; so men choose to have sex with women that they are acquainted with but haven't taken the time to really know and hope they turn into someone they really LIKE."

Why is that?!?! Well, it was explained to me that most men look back on their previous relationships and say "hmmm that hasn't worked for me in the past"....that once there has been an actual frienship established the sex thing messes it up when its run its course.

The question was raised: Are you talking about women that you moved into a physical relationship with after you established the friendship? Or are you talking about women you become friends with after you were already having sex with her?

Uh, well.....in those situations, sex always came first.

So, gosh, you really DON'T have any experience with taking the time to establish a REAL friendship and then allowing it to become something more, right?

Hmmm...so what he's really saying is that the way he's been approaching dating hasn't worked...i.e. sex first than try to establish a friendship....sounds like a contradiction to me...

He said, yeah well the question is always hanging there, what happens if you go there with someone you really like & respect and it doesn't work out?!?!

Huh. Well what if it does?!?! How cool would that be?!?!

In another conversation this week I was emphatically told that it was ALWAYS about the sex....always. Ask any man in the room, MJ....he will tell you it's always about sex.

Ok so why not take the risk...instead of worrying about what if it doesn't work out...why not focus on the possibilities of what if it does?!?! A great friendship.....a true emotional/intellectual connection....AND sex....TOTAL INTIMACY......isn't that what REAL relationships are supposed to look like?!?

Then this morning another theory was offered up:

Most men are hunters. They put on their waders and load up their guns and set out. They target the beautiful doe and set their sights on her. They trail...they aim...they shoot....they get her.

That's about it....it's not what happens after he gets her that counts....the thrill is in the hunt....and how many "shes" he can bag.

However if she sets herself apart...is different....offers more of a challenge....causes him to have to really know her....to make other connections....and he finds that he really likes her....then....

Then what?!? He just lets her be and continues to pursue the abundant easier targets?!? Because he wouldn't want to hurt something so unique and rare and special?!?!

No, not exactly. In the end, he gets her.....and when he does it's a different kind of "getting".....

Ahhh.... a different kind of "getting".....I wonder what that means....

Last nite I was told that when a man values the woman's friendship, involvement in his life, and the great times they were sharing MORE than sex....that was the a compliment of the highest order. Uh, huh....I like you SOOO MUCH that I don't want to touch you...no wait....I do WANT to touch you....I'm just not going to. So what's up with that?!?!

Oh yeah....and then this truth: For men, sex is just sex. It doesn't really have any meaning of its own...it only becomes meaningful if the relationship means "something".

And.....the woman who is most important and has captured a man's heart is not necessarily the woman a man is having sex with....

Great....that's just great...

And this morning I was told that all of the aspects of a relationship were separate and individual symptoms of the relationship. Sex is a symptom. Communication is a symptom. Etc, etc, etc. Great....now it's all about symptoms....so symptoms are evaluated to diagnose the relationship....

Fever....runny nose....sore throat....coughing....must be a cold!

...so it's really as simple as evaluating the symptoms?!?!

For the record, It doesn't feel special to constantly be told how great I am....and how valued my friendship is.....and how it's impossible to imagine anyone not liking me.....therefore I am not going to step any closer to you....

(Didn't my horoscope say something about "sensible boundaries"?)

WOW.....I'm so amazing no one wants to "go there" with me.....cuz they don't want to mess things up....or they don't want things to change from the way they are right now...

Gosh...don't they know that the only constant IS change.....

Or in the words of Henry David Thoreau - "Things don't change. We do."

Wonder if there really is a man out there who is confident enough....brave enough...

Oh yeah..I forgot...I have to be patient..

He's one in 10 million.

Boys are stupid!