The Point ...

Mary.

Everyone who knows me ... knows how much I DON'T LIKE to be called "Mary".  My mom named me "Mary Jane" ... after her baby doll ... not the shoes ... not the candy ... not the bread ... not the "medicinal" drug ... not the jokes ...

*Sigh*  If only she'd spelled it "MaryJane" ... all together ... like that ...

It always makes me uncomfortable ... in a squrmy, restless kinda of way ... when I get to church on Sunday morning ... to find that Del & God ... are double-teaming me ... once again ...

Today was like that ... it was very direct  ... to the point.

He started telling the story about when the angel, Gabriel ... showed up ... unexpectedly ... to tell Mary about what was coming next ...

He said ... and I am paraphrasing The Message translation that Del used this morning ... which is a paraphrase of what was actually said ... still ... I am sure you will get it ...

yeah .. the point ...

"Mary, you are beautiful with God's beauty.  Inside and out."

And Del folllowed that up by saying something to the effect that all of you women ... need to hear that ... want to hear that ... desire to believe it ...

Yet ... you struggle with it.

Earlier in the week, I had that same conversation with a friend. 

He said, " Don't you find it flattering, MJ, when people find you attractive?"

Ok, that's not exactly what he said ... but it's close.

And my response to him ... was something like well, of course, I do.  Still it confuses me because I am afraid to believe it ...

Honest.  That's what I said.

So there was Del ... this morning ... up on the platform ... sharing my business ... my private conversations ... with everyone ... and to top it all off ... he called me "Mary"!!!

Seriously.  It hacked me off.  Who does He think He is ... after all ...

So God sent Gabriel to tell Mary that she was beautiful ... and God sent my friend to tell me ....

And we both shook our heads in disbelief ... we were afraid ... of what was coming next.

God is continually trying to show up in our lives ... but we push Him away ... it's always that way ... when we start to get close to what we really want ... we start putting up walls ... or we unconciously do stupid, boneheaded things ... to sabotage our chances for happiness & joy.

Wonder why we are so afraid to receive the things we yearn for most?!?!

Del expounded on the concept of trying to be pleasing to God.  Of course, if we are trying to do that with God that means we are making the same mistakes in our other relationships, too.

If you want to be pleasing to someone ... you have to do things to please them, right?

Nope. Not so. 

Actually trying to please someone is just our fear kicking in.  Our fear that somehow we aren't good enough ... or have nothing of real value to offer the relationship ... fear that if we allow others to see us just the way we are they will find us unacceptable ... somehow ...

It's not fun trying so hard to be pleasing to ... someone else ...and the fear is wearing us out.

Truth is, we are already pleasing to God ... exactly the way we are.  Let's not forget He crafted each one of us into our own unique selves.  So what's not to like?!?

Plenty.  That's what I am thinking. 

So Del went on talking about me .... he said ...

"Mary PONDERED these things ... deep in her heart."

Yeah. That's exactly what he said ... pondered.

Imagine that. You'd think He was reading my blogs ... or something ...

Mary pondered.  Mary Jane pondered.

He was really rubbing my nose in it ... telling MY story ... sharing MY business ... and calling me "Mary" the whole time ... hitting a whole bunch of nerves ...

Grabbing my attention ... so that I would get the point ...

The depth of you  ... your soul ... you may have built walls around it.

That's what Del said ... about "Mary" ... about ME.

Dang right, I've built walls around my heart!

And even though I have been moving some of those walls around ... shifting a little ... and actually taking a couple of those low-rising ones down ... I'm still a tad bit afraid ... to let anyone close enough ... to see my beauty ... inside and out.

Too late, Mary.  That's what Gabriel said.  Too late, Mary Jane.  That's what my friend said. 

... and Del said it, too.

You are beautiful with God's beauty.  Inside and out.  And other people see it ...

NaNa NaNa ... and there's nothing YOU can do about it!

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(c) December 2010