Musings....

So here's my horoscope for today....

Cancer - Saturday, Sep 26th, 2009 -- Your life tightens up a notch as the cautious Capricorn Moon enters your 7th House of Partners. You may feel as relaxed as ever, yet others seem to be overly anxious now -- and their anxiety can rub off on you. Remember, you don't have to adjust your emotions to match someone else's just because you care. Establishing sensible boundaries will ultimately make everyone involved happier.

Random tidbits from interesting conversations this week.....

"If you're #2, then WHO do you think is #1?!?" Yeah, right......and I was supposed to respond to that?!?! Actually, I did respond. I said "That's your call....only you know who is #1 to you."

Then there was the enlightening philosophy of dating conversation last nite where the bottomline was reluctantly acknowledged by the man involved that "Men don't have sex with women they have come to KNOW and really like because they don't want to mess that up...the friendship part; so men choose to have sex with women that they are acquainted with but haven't taken the time to really know and hope they turn into someone they really LIKE."

Why is that?!?! Well, it was explained to me that most men look back on their previous relationships and say "hmmm that hasn't worked for me in the past"....that once there has been an actual frienship established the sex thing messes it up when its run its course.

The question was raised: Are you talking about women that you moved into a physical relationship with after you established the friendship? Or are you talking about women you become friends with after you were already having sex with her?

Uh, well.....in those situations, sex always came first.

So, gosh, you really DON'T have any experience with taking the time to establish a REAL friendship and then allowing it to become something more, right?

Hmmm...so what he's really saying is that the way he's been approaching dating hasn't worked...i.e. sex first than try to establish a friendship....sounds like a contradiction to me...

He said, yeah well the question is always hanging there, what happens if you go there with someone you really like & respect and it doesn't work out?!?!

Huh. Well what if it does?!?! How cool would that be?!?!

In another conversation this week I was emphatically told that it was ALWAYS about the sex....always. Ask any man in the room, MJ....he will tell you it's always about sex.

Ok so why not take the risk...instead of worrying about what if it doesn't work out...why not focus on the possibilities of what if it does?!?! A great friendship.....a true emotional/intellectual connection....AND sex....TOTAL INTIMACY......isn't that what REAL relationships are supposed to look like?!?

Then this morning another theory was offered up:

Most men are hunters. They put on their waders and load up their guns and set out. They target the beautiful doe and set their sights on her. They trail...they aim...they shoot....they get her.

That's about it....it's not what happens after he gets her that counts....the thrill is in the hunt....and how many "shes" he can bag.

However if she sets herself apart...is different....offers more of a challenge....causes him to have to really know her....to make other connections....and he finds that he really likes her....then....

Then what?!? He just lets her be and continues to pursue the abundant easier targets?!? Because he wouldn't want to hurt something so unique and rare and special?!?!

No, not exactly. In the end, he gets her.....and when he does it's a different kind of "getting".....

Ahhh.... a different kind of "getting".....I wonder what that means....

Last nite I was told that when a man values the woman's friendship, involvement in his life, and the great times they were sharing MORE than sex....that was the a compliment of the highest order. Uh, huh....I like you SOOO MUCH that I don't want to touch you...no wait....I do WANT to touch you....I'm just not going to. So what's up with that?!?!

Oh yeah....and then this truth: For men, sex is just sex. It doesn't really have any meaning of its own...it only becomes meaningful if the relationship means "something".

And.....the woman who is most important and has captured a man's heart is not necessarily the woman a man is having sex with....

Great....that's just great...

And this morning I was told that all of the aspects of a relationship were separate and individual symptoms of the relationship. Sex is a symptom. Communication is a symptom. Etc, etc, etc. Great....now it's all about symptoms....so symptoms are evaluated to diagnose the relationship....

Fever....runny nose....sore throat....coughing....must be a cold!

...so it's really as simple as evaluating the symptoms?!?!

For the record, It doesn't feel special to constantly be told how great I am....and how valued my friendship is.....and how it's impossible to imagine anyone not liking me.....therefore I am not going to step any closer to you....

(Didn't my horoscope say something about "sensible boundaries"?)

WOW.....I'm so amazing no one wants to "go there" with me.....cuz they don't want to mess things up....or they don't want things to change from the way they are right now...

Gosh...don't they know that the only constant IS change.....

Or in the words of Henry David Thoreau - "Things don't change. We do."

Wonder if there really is a man out there who is confident enough....brave enough...

Oh yeah..I forgot...I have to be patient..

He's one in 10 million.

Boys are stupid!

Girardi Tidbits....

Been watching a "Joan of Arcadia" marathon with Jessi this afternoon....think it must have been Season 1...and every episode is a parable uniquely crafted....I loved the show when it was "on" and it still speaks to me in a timeless fashion....

At times I think I AM Joan....even though she is in high school....and I am, well, I am not in high school even though it feels that way sometimes...

Life is just life...

Joan: Iris...She seems very nice...
Adam: Yeah. I like her a lot.
Joan: So you want me to like her a lot, too?
Adam: No. I want you to like ME.
Joan: I don't just like you, Adam.
Adam: I want that, too.

....and then the more mature couple....Will & Helen Girardi....Joan's parents....

Helen: So, do you believe in hell?
Will: I believe in a place without you.
Helen: There's no place like that, I promise.

.....and then at the vending machine....

Joan: I am just looking for some change...
God: Change comes from within, Joan

....and she looked just like I do at times when God so deliberately hits me over the head with some obvious truth.....

All in all.....it was a pleasant evening....and I am glad that Jessi saved Season 2 for another time....because the one where Joan learns to juggle really gets to me....every single time...

SIDEBAR: Just looked at the titles of the Episodes in Season 1....and one of them is titled....."DO THE MATH"....ba da bing! And my best friend, the Creator of the Universe continues to roll on the floor laughing with me!

www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com

Good Things Are Going To Happen!

Would you mind if we filmed you for our latest documentary, MaryJane, called "Life Rocks"? It's a piece we're doing for the Angel Network here.

You are by far the most logical choice. Not just because your life already rocks, but because you came from behind to be who you are today, and because everyone here has long been whispering about the hotly anticipated arrival of your new exciting & fun business....Shhhhhh.... The Universe

....this message was in my email box this morning....it's a daily message from Notes From The Universe....I know that everyone on the mailing list got THIS exact same message....but get out?!?....IT was so obviously addressed to ME!!!

Keep the very cool validations coming.......all of them are going a long way to helping me stay focused on what needs to be done to keep me moving towards the life I want to be living....

Whatever it is...it isn't.....yet!