It was an experiment. That's all. And the outcome was amusing....and predictable. Seriously. I don't know how I let myself get talked into these things.
I had decided to take a week or so....and just do things differently....see what the impact would be on me and those around me....you know, that thing about if you do the same things the same way you will alway get the same results....some DIFFERENT outcomes would be great...
Based on that, a friend said ok.....so what about meeting some new people?!?! Why don't you try Match.com?!? It has worked for a lot of people we know....
Yeah, right....if you say so....but what the heck....why not?!? It might be fun.
So I created a profile on Friday and signed up for the "free" 3-day Trial....and thought, let's see who I meet....
Many of you know my eharmony.com story .... zero matches in the entire world of 10,000,000 eharmony subscribers....
And then there was the match.com story from last year....where my out-of-town friend.....in an attempt to be "helpful"....did a key word search using three adjectives that she thought BEST described me....a 100 mile radius of my zip code....and an age range starting 5 years younger & ending 5 years older....LOL
She said she just wanted to find some men for me to "talk" to.....who were looking for someone "just like you, MJ!"
And so she put all the info in and hit "search".....came up with ONE match.....
It's a funny story all by itself.....still the results of both of those past "experiments" were not offering me much hope of success this time....
Time was up yesterday....here's what happened:
Posted profile
Sent out 17 emails because I figured it wasn't a fair experiment if I just "waited" & I got zero actually replies to the emails
Well, one sent the automatic "we are not a match due to distance" reply & one sent the automatic "I have recently met someone and want to see how it goes" reply....least they were courteous
I received 18 winks.
Fifteen of them were from "imaginary" men....with bogus profiles....
How do I know?!?! Because when I went back to view their profiles at the end of the three days....the message came up saying "I am sorry the profile you are looking for is no longer available."
Imagine that.
Two men IM'd me while I was online. Both of them immediately wanted to take it over to Yahoo Messenger so that we would be "safe" while we chatted.
Didn't take but a minute or two to realize that neither of them were who they said they were either....LOL....one of them became fairly indignant when I suggested he "wasn't from the US"
"Why you say that", he said....."Because you say you are from Michigan...and you don't know where that is," I replied. "And you don't know where Arkansas is.....and you don't know what the Reader's Digest version of anything means...."
Ha Ha
So my profile was viewed 101 times.....
25 of those were from men who lived somewhere besides Arkansas...
25 of those were actually from men in my geographic area -- none of whom I found interesting enough to contact...guess what?!? I am not looking for "dramma" either! and NASCAR is not on my list of favorites...
10 of them were either on the high side or the low side of my age range...
Which means that a little less than half of them were either repeat lookers or people browsing around on match.com for .... well, who knows what reason.....sport?!?! ...window-shopping?!?!....stalkers!
Needless to say the outcome wasn't surprising....online dating is definitely not FOR ME!
....and I was willing to accept that it might have been a timing issue in the past.....but, no, it appears that it's not about timing at all.....at least not for the online dating thing...I have known all along that wasn't going to be the answer...
Or maybe it's what Joel Olsteen said the other nite.....
I wandered through the den to let Pete out before turning in...it was late and Jessi was asleep on the couch with the t.v. still on...and there was ole Joel....talking about answered prayers....
He said....and I am para-phrasing.....sometimes God gives you the answer....and there's no doubt about the fact that it IS the answer....then you act in response to the obvious answer only to find that it doesn't happen....or it doesn't go the way that you would obviously think it would go....
And maybe you step back and say....hmmm.....maybe I got that one wrong....maybe I misunderstood somehow....maybe I took the information & the indications and turned them around somehow to fit what I think I want rather than seeing where it clearly leads....
So again, you wait for the answer.....and it comes....and again, there's no doubt about the fact that what you thought FIRST was the answer.....really and truly IS the answer....and you pursue the outcome once more....because this time, there's no question of success....right?!?!
Wrong. Sometimes it's the RIGHT answer....it's just the WRONG time....and eventually, the answer will come to pass....usually when you have tucked it away...forgotten about it for the time being... and least expect it....
The answer becomes reality when the timing is right....
Guess that means I am totally back to impatiently waiting patiently.....
www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Special....
Woke up yesterday morning...it was Sunday....day two of the most glorious weather Arkansas has ever seen in August.....and the first thought I had was....
"You are beautiful, MJ.....and very, very special."
Honest. I am not kidding.
I almost posted that as my status before I headed out to church....but somehow it felt silly....vain....& I worried that it might even sound a little "needy"....whatever...
So where did that come from?!? I wondered. Is it part of my sojourn?!?
It's hard...but I am deliberately trying to step back for awhile...to regroup...to recharge...renew my spirit. It's exhausting at times to be me....*sigh*....need a rest....and a chance to once again review the important questions....and to sit still & be quiet....so that the answers will come...to guide me through the quagmire of the weeks ahead....
The night before I went to see "Julie & Julia" with a great friend. It was a light-hearted & touching story....based on TWO true stories...of women who struggled with themselves....just like me. And guess what?!? Both of them were beautiful....and both of them were special....everyone saw it....except for them....sometimes....
There was one great scene....where Julia Child (Meryl Streep) and her husband (Stanley Tucci) are in their bedroom....she is rattling on and on in her quirky, overanalyzing way....and he is feeling amorous. It is obvious that there is a tremendous amount of love present.....two people who are best friends...sharing their lives together....and finding their passion there.
She says, "What if you hadn't loved me?!?!"
He says, "....but I did...."
That was it. Powerful stuff. Ok, maybe it was only really HUGE to me.
Then later in the movie at a dinner he is telling how how he feel in love with Julia....only, according to him, it wasn't something "show-stopping" or "bigger-than-life"....it was something that was "always there"....it just took him a while to figure it out.... it was real...and genuine...
...and the intangible part was much more than superfical physical attraction...it was something that was deeply grounded in emotion, intellect, and a passion that was a manifestation of the great friendship that existed between two people who plain & simply liked each other....just exactly the way they were....
He said, "There we were in China...at a dinner....and I realized, It's Julia....it's always been Julia!"
Gosh! And he was an attractive, intelligent, interesting, humorous man with a high profile position....and she was a part of the Embassy's administrative staff....quirky....outspoken....vibrant....often awkward....different.....
Yet he loved her....he didn't "fall in love" with her....it was much simpler than that...it was simply "always Julia".....
That's what I want. A true partnership....full of joy, encouragement, hope, disagreements, disappointments, love.....and passion....not something that "happens suddenly".....rather something that just IS....real & simple & natural....where he says, "It's MJ....it's always been MJ"
Anyway, the movie was great....it made me smile...and I thought about all of the different messages...messages that were relevant to the answers I am seeking....that were tucked away there...just for me....on Saturday....
So I laughed at myself and thought, it's no wonder I woke up thinking that...."You are beautiful MJ...and very, very special." Wasn't that the message in the movie?!? That we all are?!?
Put the top down...headed on over to church...thinking that the weekend had been restful & restorative for me so far....making my list for the day....clean off the porch....cook those fresh veges from the Farmer's Market...enjoy the day with Jessi.... start organizing those older blog posts...
...and refusing to fret over the questions....because I was giving myself enough time to let the answers emerge on their own....and I knew that if I was patient.....uh yeah, patient...than there wouldn't be any question about the answers....when they finally revealed themselves...
Del greeted us all warmly...."What do you need to hear....what part of your heart needs ot be touched...today?" Then there was great singing & some praying, too....
Randomly....in the midst of the pre-message stuff...Del said...outloud from the platform....
DO THE MATH!
Not once...not twice...not sure how many times....but that's what he said.
Honest. I don't make this stuff up.
It was totally "out-of-context" to my "do the math" story....but, you know, it's not something that people just SAY all of the time....yeah....DO THE MATH!
And then....came the message....it was about being SPECIAL.
....and I didn't even have to sit still & listen carefully to hear the chuckle that was welling up from the very depths of my best friend....God....the Creator of the Universe....it was a robust & boisterous laugh...spilling forth....surely everyone in the congregation was caught up in the moment of God's perfect timing & sense of humor....the snorting laughter didn't come until later in the evening...
Here's a little of what Del shared....paraphrased & interjected with some MJisms....just remember the good stuff was what Del said....always....
Some statitistics were shared about the number of babies born in the world & the US...didn't write them down...didn't need to....Del was holding an adorable child in his arms belonging to a family in the church....well, until his arms got tired....and he pointed out that to that family the statistics didn't really matter....the only one that was important was that ONE...the one in 10,000 or so that belonged to them....
Guess the same applies to one in 10,000,000, too....I'm just saying....
All of us are born special...then somehow....along the journey you're not special anymore....you lose sight of how special you are...yep...you had it once....then somewhere along the way it got lost...
...and if you don't find it....again....your specialness...than nothing in your life is ever going to work....that's right...nothing...relationships won't work....careers won't work....life won't work...
You must BELIEVE that you have value.
It's very simple. Really. Stop making it so hard.
What's important is the person you are....not the things you do.
If you don't think you are special than you don't expect much out of relationships....you don't expect much out of life...
...and guess what?!?! You can't outgrow "special".
It's true. Once special....always special. It just gets covered up sometimes by all of the muck and stuff that life throws at you.....and, of course, there's the greatest enemy of all...that robs you of your "specialness"....YOURSELF!
Yes, indeed. The messages you send to yourself are the most damaging and debilitating...and the end result is that you start drawing boundaries...and putting up walls around your heart....and making sure there is always a table...or a chair....or something between you and what's coming next....
Sure it's scary....to just go with it...to relax enough to embrace the good things when you find them...don't let your inner voice hold you back by saying "you don't deserve it" or "it's not real"...it's your choice...to take the chance...or to hug the table for too long...& then poof! it's gone....
There was more....it was a message that obviously touched Del deeply. I like it when that happens....because it's real...genuine...honest....and life doesn't get much better than that.
I left church feeling great....and the rest-of-the-day was nice....and later in the evening I ended up on the floor in a rip-roaring, gut-busting, snorting all-out laugh-a-thon with the Author of Special... Himself....
He simply couldn't resist.....or maybe He just wanted to be sure that I am getting IT....that the answer IS the answer....after all....but that's another story....one that I am not sure that I am ready to post publicly yet...
Just know that's it pretty hard to ignore what He is saying when He gives it to you in the "dummies" version....uh yeah...do the math....let me spell that out for you, MJ...synchronicity...
....there is no such thing as coincidence...ever..
Find the joy! Choose happy! Smile!
www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com
"You are beautiful, MJ.....and very, very special."
Honest. I am not kidding.
I almost posted that as my status before I headed out to church....but somehow it felt silly....vain....& I worried that it might even sound a little "needy"....whatever...
So where did that come from?!? I wondered. Is it part of my sojourn?!?
It's hard...but I am deliberately trying to step back for awhile...to regroup...to recharge...renew my spirit. It's exhausting at times to be me....*sigh*....need a rest....and a chance to once again review the important questions....and to sit still & be quiet....so that the answers will come...to guide me through the quagmire of the weeks ahead....
The night before I went to see "Julie & Julia" with a great friend. It was a light-hearted & touching story....based on TWO true stories...of women who struggled with themselves....just like me. And guess what?!? Both of them were beautiful....and both of them were special....everyone saw it....except for them....sometimes....
There was one great scene....where Julia Child (Meryl Streep) and her husband (Stanley Tucci) are in their bedroom....she is rattling on and on in her quirky, overanalyzing way....and he is feeling amorous. It is obvious that there is a tremendous amount of love present.....two people who are best friends...sharing their lives together....and finding their passion there.
She says, "What if you hadn't loved me?!?!"
He says, "....but I did...."
That was it. Powerful stuff. Ok, maybe it was only really HUGE to me.
Then later in the movie at a dinner he is telling how how he feel in love with Julia....only, according to him, it wasn't something "show-stopping" or "bigger-than-life"....it was something that was "always there"....it just took him a while to figure it out.... it was real...and genuine...
...and the intangible part was much more than superfical physical attraction...it was something that was deeply grounded in emotion, intellect, and a passion that was a manifestation of the great friendship that existed between two people who plain & simply liked each other....just exactly the way they were....
He said, "There we were in China...at a dinner....and I realized, It's Julia....it's always been Julia!"
Gosh! And he was an attractive, intelligent, interesting, humorous man with a high profile position....and she was a part of the Embassy's administrative staff....quirky....outspoken....vibrant....often awkward....different.....
Yet he loved her....he didn't "fall in love" with her....it was much simpler than that...it was simply "always Julia".....
That's what I want. A true partnership....full of joy, encouragement, hope, disagreements, disappointments, love.....and passion....not something that "happens suddenly".....rather something that just IS....real & simple & natural....where he says, "It's MJ....it's always been MJ"
Anyway, the movie was great....it made me smile...and I thought about all of the different messages...messages that were relevant to the answers I am seeking....that were tucked away there...just for me....on Saturday....
So I laughed at myself and thought, it's no wonder I woke up thinking that...."You are beautiful MJ...and very, very special." Wasn't that the message in the movie?!? That we all are?!?
Put the top down...headed on over to church...thinking that the weekend had been restful & restorative for me so far....making my list for the day....clean off the porch....cook those fresh veges from the Farmer's Market...enjoy the day with Jessi.... start organizing those older blog posts...
...and refusing to fret over the questions....because I was giving myself enough time to let the answers emerge on their own....and I knew that if I was patient.....uh yeah, patient...than there wouldn't be any question about the answers....when they finally revealed themselves...
Del greeted us all warmly...."What do you need to hear....what part of your heart needs ot be touched...today?" Then there was great singing & some praying, too....
Randomly....in the midst of the pre-message stuff...Del said...outloud from the platform....
DO THE MATH!
Not once...not twice...not sure how many times....but that's what he said.
Honest. I don't make this stuff up.
It was totally "out-of-context" to my "do the math" story....but, you know, it's not something that people just SAY all of the time....yeah....DO THE MATH!
And then....came the message....it was about being SPECIAL.
....and I didn't even have to sit still & listen carefully to hear the chuckle that was welling up from the very depths of my best friend....God....the Creator of the Universe....it was a robust & boisterous laugh...spilling forth....surely everyone in the congregation was caught up in the moment of God's perfect timing & sense of humor....the snorting laughter didn't come until later in the evening...
Here's a little of what Del shared....paraphrased & interjected with some MJisms....just remember the good stuff was what Del said....always....
Some statitistics were shared about the number of babies born in the world & the US...didn't write them down...didn't need to....Del was holding an adorable child in his arms belonging to a family in the church....well, until his arms got tired....and he pointed out that to that family the statistics didn't really matter....the only one that was important was that ONE...the one in 10,000 or so that belonged to them....
Guess the same applies to one in 10,000,000, too....I'm just saying....
All of us are born special...then somehow....along the journey you're not special anymore....you lose sight of how special you are...yep...you had it once....then somewhere along the way it got lost...
...and if you don't find it....again....your specialness...than nothing in your life is ever going to work....that's right...nothing...relationships won't work....careers won't work....life won't work...
You must BELIEVE that you have value.
It's very simple. Really. Stop making it so hard.
What's important is the person you are....not the things you do.
If you don't think you are special than you don't expect much out of relationships....you don't expect much out of life...
...and guess what?!?! You can't outgrow "special".
It's true. Once special....always special. It just gets covered up sometimes by all of the muck and stuff that life throws at you.....and, of course, there's the greatest enemy of all...that robs you of your "specialness"....YOURSELF!
Yes, indeed. The messages you send to yourself are the most damaging and debilitating...and the end result is that you start drawing boundaries...and putting up walls around your heart....and making sure there is always a table...or a chair....or something between you and what's coming next....
Sure it's scary....to just go with it...to relax enough to embrace the good things when you find them...don't let your inner voice hold you back by saying "you don't deserve it" or "it's not real"...it's your choice...to take the chance...or to hug the table for too long...& then poof! it's gone....
There was more....it was a message that obviously touched Del deeply. I like it when that happens....because it's real...genuine...honest....and life doesn't get much better than that.
I left church feeling great....and the rest-of-the-day was nice....and later in the evening I ended up on the floor in a rip-roaring, gut-busting, snorting all-out laugh-a-thon with the Author of Special... Himself....
He simply couldn't resist.....or maybe He just wanted to be sure that I am getting IT....that the answer IS the answer....after all....but that's another story....one that I am not sure that I am ready to post publicly yet...
Just know that's it pretty hard to ignore what He is saying when He gives it to you in the "dummies" version....uh yeah...do the math....let me spell that out for you, MJ...synchronicity...
....there is no such thing as coincidence...ever..
Find the joy! Choose happy! Smile!
www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com
Sunday, August 23, 2009
So Amazing....& So Simple
At the urging of a couple of people who mean a lot to me, I am going to do "something" with my blog-stuff...and seeing "Julie & Julia" last nite made an impression on me, too.....especially when I found out that "AVIS" was the key to the whole book deal....honest....it was based on Julia's true story....funny how random things bring us back to where our focus should have been all along....
....so here is a "reprint" of an old blog....from March 29, 2007....really don't remember what prompted this one...that's the point, right...that the things I say are timeless & relevent...at least that's what my friends say...pondering that idea...hard to imagine because I think that most of the time the things I have to say are just a bunch of words....
So Amazing & So Simple...
God is so.....well, just God! Who else could take the things that seem to be so HUGE....and OVERWHELMING....and STRESSFUL.....and DEPRESSING.....and then in one simple action reduce them down to something so small.....and manageable.....and a blessing all at the same time!!!! And then as you grasp the absurdity of it all and embrace the goodness of the answered prayer......if you listen really, really close.....you can hear God laughing....because you were making it so very hard all along!!!
www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com
....so here is a "reprint" of an old blog....from March 29, 2007....really don't remember what prompted this one...that's the point, right...that the things I say are timeless & relevent...at least that's what my friends say...pondering that idea...hard to imagine because I think that most of the time the things I have to say are just a bunch of words....
So Amazing & So Simple...
God is so.....well, just God! Who else could take the things that seem to be so HUGE....and OVERWHELMING....and STRESSFUL.....and DEPRESSING.....and then in one simple action reduce them down to something so small.....and manageable.....and a blessing all at the same time!!!! And then as you grasp the absurdity of it all and embrace the goodness of the answered prayer......if you listen really, really close.....you can hear God laughing....because you were making it so very hard all along!!!
www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Ten Reasons Why....or Maybe Why Not....
1. Things aren't what they seem.
2. One must first be honest with oneself before they can be honest with others.
3. Reciprocitiy
4. If it feels good, do it?!?!
5. Respect
6. Goals & Priorities
7. Lousy vs. Happy --- I am choosing happy!
8. Two halves don't make a whole
9. Smiles that light up the universe
10.God said so.
Weighing the options....not sure of the outcome yet...choices must be made...change is in the wind
2. One must first be honest with oneself before they can be honest with others.
3. Reciprocitiy
4. If it feels good, do it?!?!
5. Respect
6. Goals & Priorities
7. Lousy vs. Happy --- I am choosing happy!
8. Two halves don't make a whole
9. Smiles that light up the universe
10.God said so.
Weighing the options....not sure of the outcome yet...choices must be made...change is in the wind
Monday, August 10, 2009
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