Got up early this morning and took a brisk walk with a couple of friends ... just short of two miles.
When I asked for an accountability partner recently, one of these women stepped up ... she is one of the most positively motivated individuals I have ever met. The other has been a permanent fixture in my life for some 20 years or so ... closer than family ... she has open-ended permission to weigh in on anything that's going on with me.
These two friends always provide encouragement, support & interesting commentary on life & love & a myriad of other topics. Each of them is a constant source of inspiration as they bravely face the challenges that life brings their way. They always make me smile!
And this morning was no exception.
After some dialogue about children ... people that act like children ... what's on each of our plates ... some short term plans with long term impact ... we ended our walk with a discussion about my turtle stuff.
One friend said her take on the whole turtle thing is that the turtle represents me ... because the turtle never gets in a hurry ... doesn't rush into things ... takes a lot of time to make decisions ...
Ha Ha Ha. That was funny. Really?!? Is that how she sees me?!?
I am impatient. Always moving forward. A do-it-if-it's-wrong kinda gal. And this whole concept of impatiently waiting patiently has been a tremendous struggle for me. Seriously. Let's make it happen. There's nothing worse than doing nothing.
I told her that I was pretty sure that the whole turtle thing was more about the protective shell than the slow, meandering, careful lifestyle.
She continued saying that maybe the reason I keep getting that same Message From God ... over and over and over ... is that in "people" time it's redundantly showing up for days ... but that maybe in the unhurried pace of "turtle" time it's just one continuous message ... that somehow time is measured differently in turtle time ... not so much by minutes/hours/days as by distances/journeys ...
Hmmm ... might be something there ... time continuum ...
My other friend ... the one that's known me longer ... the one who has been there through ALL of my stuff ... watching my back ... picking up my slack ... believing in me unwaveringly as if I had a clue ... the one that always shows up ... yeah, the one that's always there ... no matter when ... no matter where ...
THAT friend ... sat me down last nite ... & awkwardly waded into a heartfelt conversation about turtles & their shells ...
Vulnerabilities.
Her heart was in the right place. Still I think her original conclusions were somewhat offbase.
Thing is, though, the conversation was sincere & genuine ... thought provoking ...
And I always listen to what she has to say ... because the kaleidoscope that she views life through isn't the same as mine ... her shapes & colors are uniquely her own ... as are mine ...
It's awesome to have friends who care enough about you to think about your things ... to share their thoughts on your stuff ... to be willing to take a chance on touching a nerve or pushing a button in order to help you figure it all out ...
Friends who know that they DO have the power to offend you but are willing to speak their mind rather leave you floundering in your own confusion ...
Yesterday I determined that different questions was where I would find the answer that has been eluding me ...
...day after day after day ...
As I struggle to discover what it is that is causing my life to remain the same ... even though I am eagerly searching for change.
So, yeah, I am pretty sure there is something to the "time" thing ... turtle time ... God's time ...
Because my lifetime is simply a blink of His eye ...
That's what my friend said this morning.
It's definitely something to think about ...
Different questions. That's the outcome of this morning's walk.
As we reached the corner, my two friends awkwardly exchanged a hug ... both openly acknowledging that they aren't "huggers" ... yet somehow it was ok ... it simply felt nice ... right ...
How cool is that?!?
www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com
(c) Mary Jane Sawyer 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
A Different Question
Consider all of the different ways to do the same thing
A friend sent me an email over the weekend in response to my blog posts about turtles ... and perspective ... that's what it said.
No one of us is alike, we are all unique, and yet we are all rooted in that which is identical. It's something she says she has been giving thought to recently. The idea was part of something she was reading ... or had received via email ... or any of the other ways we receive little nudges ... little messages ... to make us more aware ...
There is that pesky little Message From God that just keeps showing up .... day-after-day-after day ... I get the little indicator that I have a NEW message ... then I click over there to see what it will be today ... and there it sits ... the same one from yesterday ...
And the day before ... and the day before that ... and the day before that ...
On this day, God wants you to know
Repetition is good, I guess. It's been documented that you have to do something 16 to 21 times before it becomes habit. Some people say it takes a month or more of repetitive action before whatever it is becomes natural ... something you simply do without giving any thought to it.
It's interesting that the redundant little message says "happiness" is what I want ... duh?!? ... I made "choosing happy" my mantra ... my goal ... over a year ago. And I know that I am moving in that direction ...
... at a turtle's pace ...
And I am almost there ... God said so ... just last week .
Still there must be something holding me back that I can't see ... that I'm not getting ... or maybe I am just holding on to it so tightly that it's impossible to recognize that it's time to let it go.
*sigh* I've done so much deliberate letting go ... lately . It's been hard. It hurts a lot. And truth is, the "missing" is sometimes overwhelming ... more than I ever imagined ... & I wonder, "gosh ... is all of this really necessary? For me to get to "happy"? "
And I know that it is ... necessary ...
Another friend posted a quote this morning ...
It resonated instantly. As I was reflecting on diamond-making that Rob Thomas song "Her Diamonds" came on the radio. Random, right?
I think not. Nothing is ever really random. It just seems that way. Sometimes.
So I am poking my head out of my shell ... stretching my neck as far as it will go so that I can take a look from a different perspective ... assessing where I am ... and where it is that I am almost AT ... trying to understand what it is that is my keeping my life the way it is ... when I am so ready for change ... for something new ...
Maybe what you really might want to do, MJ, is ask a different question?
A friend sent me an email over the weekend in response to my blog posts about turtles ... and perspective ... that's what it said.
No one of us is alike, we are all unique, and yet we are all rooted in that which is identical. It's something she says she has been giving thought to recently. The idea was part of something she was reading ... or had received via email ... or any of the other ways we receive little nudges ... little messages ... to make us more aware ...
There is that pesky little Message From God that just keeps showing up .... day-after-day-after day ... I get the little indicator that I have a NEW message ... then I click over there to see what it will be today ... and there it sits ... the same one from yesterday ...
And the day before ... and the day before that ... and the day before that ...
On this day, God wants you to know
... that the life you are having is the life you are creating. Even when this seems paradoxical on the surface, - how could you ever possibly want anything but happiness, - on a deeper level, there is something in you that is making it so. To transform your life you first must understand what is keeping it the way it is.
Repetition is good, I guess. It's been documented that you have to do something 16 to 21 times before it becomes habit. Some people say it takes a month or more of repetitive action before whatever it is becomes natural ... something you simply do without giving any thought to it.
It's interesting that the redundant little message says "happiness" is what I want ... duh?!? ... I made "choosing happy" my mantra ... my goal ... over a year ago. And I know that I am moving in that direction ...
... at a turtle's pace ...
And I am almost there ... God said so ... just last week .
Still there must be something holding me back that I can't see ... that I'm not getting ... or maybe I am just holding on to it so tightly that it's impossible to recognize that it's time to let it go.
*sigh* I've done so much deliberate letting go ... lately . It's been hard. It hurts a lot. And truth is, the "missing" is sometimes overwhelming ... more than I ever imagined ... & I wonder, "gosh ... is all of this really necessary? For me to get to "happy"? "
And I know that it is ... necessary ...
Another friend posted a quote this morning ...
No pressure, no diamonds."~Mary Case
It resonated instantly. As I was reflecting on diamond-making that Rob Thomas song "Her Diamonds" came on the radio. Random, right?
I think not. Nothing is ever really random. It just seems that way. Sometimes.
So I am poking my head out of my shell ... stretching my neck as far as it will go so that I can take a look from a different perspective ... assessing where I am ... and where it is that I am almost AT ... trying to understand what it is that is my keeping my life the way it is ... when I am so ready for change ... for something new ...
Maybe what you really might want to do, MJ, is ask a different question?
Yeah ... I am thinking ... that's the answer ... a different question ...
(c) Mary Jane Sawyer 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Perspective
One in 10 million.
Close to five years ago, soon after my divorce, I was badgered into taking the personality profile on eharmony.com by a misguided & quirky employee. The multi-page description of myself was pretty darn accurate ... and the very specific & detailed description of my "perfect" man was astounding ... seriously, I couldn't summarize exactly who I am looking for more clearly & succinctly ... if I tried!
Yep. I still have it. And every once in awhile I take it out & review it. It always makes me smile!
Back to the story ... personlity profile pegged me ... AND what I am looking for in a date ... a friend ... a partner. So I clicked the tab ... I was on my way to the rest of my life ...
Ha. Ha Ha. It's been one of my favorite stories for years. NO MATCHES!
Not in my zip code. Not in my state. Not in America. Not anywhere in the entire world of eharmony.com. Not a single one.
Took the silly thing a year or so later .... and printed out the description of my perfect man again ... so that I could compare it to the first one ... you know, odds are they wouldn't be the same ... line for line, word for word, the two multi-page summaries are identical ... verbatim ... exactly the same.
And so were the results. No matches.
So it has been my conclusion that if there are 10 million subscirbers on eharmony.com and not a single one of the men is a match for me ... than my man must be one in 10 million.
That's what I have been thinking.
It's a great story. And I have stuck to it. I have done the math ... and have scientific, mathematical proof that I know at least one man who is "one in 10 million"...
Funny. Very funny.
However, my turtle ponderings have brought me to a fresh outlook ... a different perspective ... maybe it's not the man that God created to fit me perfectly that's uniquely individual ... special ... rare ...
One in 10 million ...
... maybe it's ME!
Close to five years ago, soon after my divorce, I was badgered into taking the personality profile on eharmony.com by a misguided & quirky employee. The multi-page description of myself was pretty darn accurate ... and the very specific & detailed description of my "perfect" man was astounding ... seriously, I couldn't summarize exactly who I am looking for more clearly & succinctly ... if I tried!
Yep. I still have it. And every once in awhile I take it out & review it. It always makes me smile!
Back to the story ... personlity profile pegged me ... AND what I am looking for in a date ... a friend ... a partner. So I clicked the tab ... I was on my way to the rest of my life ...
Ha. Ha Ha. It's been one of my favorite stories for years. NO MATCHES!
Not in my zip code. Not in my state. Not in America. Not anywhere in the entire world of eharmony.com. Not a single one.
Took the silly thing a year or so later .... and printed out the description of my perfect man again ... so that I could compare it to the first one ... you know, odds are they wouldn't be the same ... line for line, word for word, the two multi-page summaries are identical ... verbatim ... exactly the same.
And so were the results. No matches.
So it has been my conclusion that if there are 10 million subscirbers on eharmony.com and not a single one of the men is a match for me ... than my man must be one in 10 million.
That's what I have been thinking.
It's a great story. And I have stuck to it. I have done the math ... and have scientific, mathematical proof that I know at least one man who is "one in 10 million"...
Funny. Very funny.
However, my turtle ponderings have brought me to a fresh outlook ... a different perspective ... maybe it's not the man that God created to fit me perfectly that's uniquely individual ... special ... rare ...
One in 10 million ...
... maybe it's ME!
(C) Mary Jane Sawyer, 2010
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