for good measure.
Patio-sitting ... early morning with coffee ... late at night with the stars spread across the sky. An evening boat ride even brought forth a falling star. Scientifically, on any given night a shooting star is visible every 10-15 minutes. That makes me wonder ... how is it possible?!?!
... so many stars falling ... wishless ...
I didn't see it ... myself. Surely, though, the magic ... of a wish upon a falling star ... covers everyone present.
We were ... are ... all in the same boat, after all.
Time was spent pondering the life I want to be living. More than pondering, actually. There were moments ... during the weekend ... when I was so close ... to being there ... that I could see it ... feel it ... and if I had been bold enough to reach out ...
I might have even touched it.
I found myself wondering ... once again ... how long must one wait ... for yet?
Today ... an answer of sorts came. Showed up in a blog that I stumbled across a week or so ago ... and have been following ... by a gal named Amber Rae.
Wants are fleeting desires, according to Amber Rae. Wills, on the other hand, are intentional decisions.
AHA moment. Epic in its simplicity.
Want less. Will more.
I pulled out my "Life I Want To Be Living" statement and saw for the first time ... what should have been obvious all along ... it's a vision statement based on "I want" ... not "I will" ...
No wonder it's taking so long to get there.
Every choice ... every decision I've made for the last few years has been filtered through my "Life I Want To Be Living" statement. Each bringing me one step closer ...
Close. But no cigar.
Wandered back through some of my musings ... to see what I was thinking at the same time ... during some other year. I am want to do that ... from time to time.
Maybe I am impatiently waiting patiently ... for something to happen ... and the only thing standing in the way of me ... and the life I want to be living ... is ME.
That's what I was thinking ... about this time last year. Doors Wide Open ... living out of the "I want" instead of the "I will" ... longing for something that's time hasn't come ...
Not yet.
I am thinking maybe it's a necessary part of the process. The "I want" has to come first ... or else I have no way of knowing what I am willing to do ... to get it.
Then I remembered my New Years Resolutions ... the ones I penned a couple of years ago ... and have been renewing each year ... as my compass ... guiding me down the road that appears to lead to nowhere ... moving forward in faith ... trusting that somehow ... when I get there ... it will be exactly where I wanted to go ... all along ... even though it may not look at all as I had imagined it.
I am confident & ready to move off of the sidelines ... from "I want" to "I will".
The life I am living ... is full of wonder and adventure.....is open to sharing myself emotionally, intellectually & physically with someone special ... is colored by the love, laughter & tears that come from close friends & family ... is supported by work that is meaningful & full of purpose ... & offers a glimpse of my best friend, God, Creator of the Universe through me.
... and I am willing to ...
Choose happy. Put people before things ... always. Pray more ... wish less. Follow my heart ...
where ever it leads ... at all costs. Be open to new adventures.Let someone in ... even if it hurts. Focus less on changing ... & more on being ... who I am. Never lose sight of what's really important ... like hand-holding & smiles. Embrace what's coming next with joy & enthusiasm. Believe!
As far as the falling star goes ... it's ok for my friend to have the wish. I'll settle for the pocketful full of starlight ... a la Perry Como ... and save it for a rainy day ...
Surprised, once again ... by the unexpected punchline ...
A rain check. And a smile.
www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com
(c) May 2012
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