Pinkle Toes ...

Plop. Plop. Fizz. Fizz

Ahhhhhhh.


Soothing, warm  watermelon scented water  ... a foot soak ... on a shady corner of a sun-drenched deck ... margaritas ... lots of laughs ... good times ... good friends.

Watermelon soak ... watermelon scrub ... watermelon lotion.  Petty pedis.  The most important decision of the day ... the color of the polish.

Throwing all caution to the wind ... fun, flirty ... maybe even a little floozy ... hot pink was my choice!  For my toes ... and heck yeah, going all out ... for my fingers, too!

Laughing ... the possibility of those pinkle toes ... attracting me some positive male attention ... girl talk between me and three beautiful friends ... they think I have it all together ... and I think
they are the lucky ones ...

It was a near perfect weekend. 

I was where I want to be ... there were glimpses of the life I want to be living ... it's so close ...
within easy reach ... and one morning ... sipping coffee on the deck ... I was awash with happy ...
it was powerful ... and healing ...

"You're happy, MJ. Everyone feels it.  You know who you are.  And you're happy just being you."
 That's the observation that a friend made as we sat under the stars one night ...
pondering the ins-and-outs of life.

She said she wished she could be more like me ... not needing anyone else to make her happy.  I told her that I wished I could be more like her ... open enough to allow someone to stand a little closer and share a little bit of life with me.

She said maybe I should enlarge my window.  That made me smile.

Only you can make you happy.  That's what I told her.  Same goes for me.  Only I can make me happy.  And no matter how hard we try ... or how much we want to ... it's impossible for any of us to make another person ... happy.   Two people can be happy together ... but that's not the same as finding it within.

Happy is a choice.  It's personal.  I've been choosing happy for a long time ... and it hasn't been an easy journey.  Yet ... progress has been made.

Happy is much like the hot pink polish.  It feels funny to put it on and wear it around at first. Self-conscious ... wondering if everyone is looking at you funny ... maybe even snickering ... at your choice.  Once you relax ... and flow into it ... you discover that you wear it well ...

Sometimes it takes a bit to recognize happy ... in the rush of things.  Happy ... impatiently waiting patiently.  Three steps forwards ... two steps back ... is still ... forward progress. 

Happy's waving at you. Raise your hand.  Wave back.  See Happy smile! 

Hare Race ... Tortoise Pace ...

Some days I am the tortoise ... some days I am the hare ...

 It's a race between unequal partners.  That's how the story goes ... with many variations.

Rabbit races off ... confidently ... with a little spunk in his stride ... winning.

I get that ... been in a hurry-to-get-there, doing-something-if-it's-wrong since I was 19 ... rushing out to take on the world
Mary Tyler Moore-style.

For the most part it's worked for me .. very, very well.  Not much I would change if given the chance.

And the turtle sets off ... at his own pace ... unhurried ... enjoying every bit of the journey ... all the way to the finish line.

Deliberate ... determined ... focused.  I pack those traits as well.

Carrying along with me the things I value most ... fun-loving, adventure-seeking, always moving ... that's been my life for as far back as I can remember.  Tucking myself in ... shutting the world out ... as the mood strikes ... safe inside my shell ... no one gets to touch me there.

Is it possible to be the tortoise ... AND ... the hare?!?  I wonder.

Back to the race ... according to tradition ... it's brains against brawn.   In at least one version, the race is won by trickery ... with the turtle piggybacking on the rabbit ... jumping off at the finish line to claim the race. 

To be honest, I have never actually heard the story told that way.  And I don't much like it.  Probably because I play by the rules and think winning should be based on intention, integrity and effort.  You see, my dad taught me to always respect a worthy opponent.

I much prefer the Lord Dunsany interpretation.  He says the hare realizes the stupidity of
the challenge ... and simply chooses not to proceed any further.  So the obstinate tortoise wins the race and is declared the "swiftest" by all of the onlookers.

I don't do stupid well.  So that makes perfect sense to me.  And it certainly goes along with my philosophy that everyone gets to choose ... and all choices have consequences.

Intelligent, strategic & challenge driven ... forfeiting the popular prize for something of greater value ... self-respect & integrity ... it's an idea I can embrace.  Of course, I am known for my obstinate nature as well.  Persistent perseverance ... finish what I start ... and all that stuff.

Again, I wonder ... about the tortoise ... and the hare.

In my mental cartoon race .. the hare gives the tortoise a head start ... cuz it's only fair somehow.  And then he races off.  Throughout the event, the hare circles back to check on the tortoise's progress ... finding each time that a measurable amount of ground has been covered.

Racing around in circles ... losing sight of the finish line ... expending energy in unnecessary activities ... putting on a show for the onlookers ... 


Three steps forward ...  that's the turtle's pace ... and two steps back goes the rabbit ... all in all, it's still forward progress.  

From the sidelines it appears that the tortoise doesn't stand a chance.  All of the attention is on the hare ... he's doing the dance ... working the crowd ...

Exhausted from the rushing about, he decides to take a nap.  That way he will be rested & refreshed as he eases across the line for the win.  So he looks around for a cozy spot. 


Sometime later, he awakens to find that while he was sleeping ... dreaming about the victory ... the turtle outwitted ... outplayed ... outlasted him.  

In my telling of the story, I imagine the rabbit snuggling up inside that cozy shell ... with the turtle.  And they make the journey together.  The perfect combination of energy & enthusiasm ... perseverance & focus.

And at the finish line ... the hare steps back ... giving the turtle the win .. this time.  And next time, the tortoise pauses just long enough for the rabbit to stretch out of the shell ... and claim the prize.

The race always goes to the swift ... and on any given day ... it could be the tortoise ...or it could be the hare.


It's turtle season now.  I see them crossing the road pretty much everywhere I go.  My turtle sighting was out-of-season.  In the last year or so, since my encounter with the confident turtle in a friend's yard, I have discovered that there's quite a bit of spunk in the tortoise's pace.  It's hidden swagger ... a little harder to spot ...  

My turtle was there on that path ... waiting on me ...challenging me to take a chance ... to stick my neck out ... of the shell ... to offer a glimpse of the me on the inside ...


And my rabbit ... the one that lives in my yard ... he's waiting on me, too.  He's not in a hurry ... about anything either.  He frolics ... loiters in the yard ... deliberately pausing ... making eye contact ... as if to say, "Come on, MJ! It's time to get off the sidelines ... and into the race!"

You know he's moving fast,
Be he's still going slow,
He's ahead in the race,
And there is not far to go,

The Tortoise & The Hare by the Moody Blues

www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com

(c) May 2012

Balloon Bouquets

"Is it your birthday?"   "No.  Actually it's YOUR party."  That's how the conversation went ... on the first day I showed up with the balloons.

Funny, isn't it?  How balloons can turn even the grimmest day ... into a party.

Two days in a row, I showed up with the balloons.

A couple dozen or so tied with brightly colored ribbons.  Orange, green, pink, yellow ... spring colors ... guaranteed to catch your attention ... and to make you smile.

They floated gently to the ceiling of the tiny little space as we tied them into bouquets of two or three ... there was a lot of laughter ... as we anchored them around outside ... and left them to blow in the wind.

It was a good time ... in the midst of a not-so-good ... time.

On the second day, the balloons were different than the first.  Some were bigger ... some were smaller ... and a random array of colors ... balloons that we found in the bottom of a box under the counter.

Once again, tied with brightly colored ribbons.  And once again, filling up the tiny little space.

It was the day before ... the first day ... of what is coming next.  It was a day that simply had to be ... lived through ... as best as possible.

So the balloons were a nice touch.  It was fitting somehow.

As I was tying them into the bouquets ... on the second day ...  to once again spread around outside ... the cranky man appeared.

He really wasn't happy ... about much of anything.  And he seemed to think that it was his mission in life to spread his own brand of cranky around ... everywhere he went.

So he planted himself in a chair ... fully intending to wait.  I told him that was fine ... but that I intended to continue wandering in and out with the balloons.

He was fascinated with the balloons.  And it amused me greatly when he finally asked me if that was "what I did" ... if it was "my job" ... going around on Saturday mornings ... dressing up drab concrete & chain link fences ... with balloons ...

Later we laughed about that ... after the cranky man had come and gone ... and returned again even crankier than on the first visit.

Actually .. it was a great idea ... sad, though, that he didn't see the joy in it.

When I decided to finish up ... what was being finished up ... with the balloon bouquets ... I had no idea where to get the balloons blown up ... with helium.  A friend of mine gently slapped my hand ... because, duh?!?!  She blows up balloons every single day!

Haven't seen her in a while ... so the two early morning ballooning sessions ... were a bonus!

We chatted about life since last we had caught up ... about our children ... about business ... and relationships ... and healing.  The stories were personal ... the feelings real and genuine ... and we wondered aloud how it was even possible to go through life ... facing the struggles ... celebrating the victories ... in a partnership that didn't involve honesty, respect & a willingness to face the whatevers of life head-on ... together.

It was reassuring to me ... to have her remind me of the difference between "partnering" ... and "partnerships".  She blessed me immensely ... with her wisdom ... and encouragement.  And I bet she had no idea!

The first batch of balloons came from her inventory ... the second batch were left over from some previous events and reflected corporate colors.

There was one black one in the bunch.  As it inflated, she asked me if I REALLY wanted that one.  I said, Yep.  It's the lucky one!

Later in the day, I was asked if there was a reason why I put the black balloon ... and it's bouquet ... in such a prominent spot.  And again I replied, Yep.  It's the lucky one!

The day ended ... pretty much as expected.  The balloons didn't really make any difference in the outcome. One would un-tether from time to time ... and drift off on the breeze ... high above us ... dancing brightly ...

Reminding us that there's no way to discover what's coming next ... until we loosen the strings ... that are holding us down ...

Just now ... the whisper came ... Come on, MJ ... sing along ... "I got no strings ..."

And once again ... I am writing here ... heading to the predetermined punchline ...
only to be blindsided ...

Pinocchio.  One of my favorites ... how did I miss something so obvious ...

Floating test balloons ... waiting on Pinocchio ...

www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com
(c) April 2012