so how did it get so messed up?!?
So quickly.
Jessi's boyfriend went on vacation. Upon his return, he presented her with a lovely necklace with charms & a locket. Jessi loves her lockets ... and Donald loves Jessi.
Problem is ... this necklace has three chains ... all connected to one clasp. So there's really no way that it isn't going to be tangled up ... every time she takes it off.
She got the necklace on Wednesday ... and on Thursday evening it took me more than a few minutes to get it back to it's original shape ... after she wore it to work ... to show her friends. I shared with her how to take it off carefully so that it wouldn't be all jumbled up again.
A couple of hours Friday evening ... and a couple more on Saturday morning ... that was all of the downtime I was going to have over the weekend. Barely enough time to get done all those weekend things that needed to be done ...done... much less have a bit of time for me.
Annoyed. That's what I was when Jessi handed me her necklace as soon as I got home on Friday. It was big ole knot of chains. Yep. I was annoyed. She was distressed. So there really wasn't any choice but to start ... de-tangling.As I began to wiggle the little chains around ... over-and-under ... twist .. untwist ... trying to sort out the ins and outs of the knots ... that were inside of knots ... of the three chain mess ... my mind began to wander ...
First I thought of mazes ... labyrinths ... and then on to puzzles ... pondering ... mind wandering ... as I worried over that silly necklace.
It had been tiresome, troublesome week ... in a circle of friends ... that wasn't really mine. It struck me that the entire situation was much like the necklace jumble that I was meticulously unraveling.
It was such a simple idea. My birthday. A friend's birthday. One fun party combining an interesting mix of our closest friends. So how did it get so messed up?!? So quickly?!?
Hurt feelings ... all around ... and the fallout will linger on ... and on ... and on ...
Pretty much the whole evening ... was spent on the knotted up necklace ... and the birthday debacle ... before I knew it ... it was midnite ... there had been a texting frenzy in the midst ... finally i put the congomerate of tangles aside and called it a night.
Tired. I continue to be tired. Even though I have been finding rest all week. And then, frustrated ... that I had wasted those precious few hours ... worrying over the silly necklace.
In the dark, the whisper came ... "If you think it's silly, MJ, just maybe you have lost sight of what's truly important."
Just before falling asleep ... it occurred to me that detangling the necklace ... reminded me of those "worry" beads ... that some people carry around in their pockets. You know, to give them something to do ... nervously with their hands ... when life becomes overwhelming.
Woke up early on Saturday ... there was so much to get done before I became immersed in my obligations that would take up most of the weekend ... nonstop.
Picked up the necklace ...thinking ... surely in the light of day ... it will only take a little bit of time to finish sorting it out.
Yeah, right. A little bit of time.
I was sitting on the couch ... thinking about how hard it is to sort things out ... in life. The cable was out ... another Friday afternoon surprise ... because ... apparently if you don't go replace every television in your house ... with brand new digital ones ... then at some point ... you can't receive ANY of the channels ... that you are supposed to be getting ...
... and it happens with no warning.
So there I was ... talking outloud to myself ...
Imagine that, MJ. You have to get a NEW receiver ... to receive what's been yours all along. It's free. A hassle, yes ... and an inconvenience. Still it costs nothing ... but a little bit of time.
A NEW receiver = a new way of looking at things.
Another knot came free. By golly, I was making progress!
Jessi was watching old episodes of The Young & The Restless on her laptop. REALLY OLD ones.
It was the ones from the period of time when Cassie Newman dies after the carwreck. If you're not familiar with the show ... it would take ages to explain the storyline to you here. Long story short ... Cassie was like 13 or 14 ... she had a crush on Daniel who was old enough to drive ... she snuck out to a party because he was going to be there ... she, of course, wasn't even on his radar ... he got drunk & passed out in the backseat of his car ... Cassie decided that she should drive him home ... he was conveniently living with his mom in the guest house on Cassie's parents estate ...
Real life stories. That's what soap operas are ... yeah, right.
She doesn't know how to drive ... swerves off the road .. crashes ... she dies ... he lives ... and for weeks & weeks the focus of The Y&R was sorting out ... what happened ... who's fault was it ... afterall?!?
Whew! What a mess! And I am wondering ... as I unravel the necklace ... link by link ... why Jessi is so fascinated with that particular storyline ... it happened YEARS ago ... yet she would never let us tape over the VHS copy we made back in the days when we would record the stories ... and then watch them together ... as a family ... in the evening ... and now she has located those exact episodes on the internet ...
What's up with that?
So as the Newmans are all praying for Cassie ... my mind rejects the idea of worry beads ... because really I am not spending much time "worrying" these days ... and the thought came to me that maybe it ... my forced fascination with this necklace ... was more like a rosary ... Prayer beads.
Except this necklace has no beads ... just chains ... and I smiled ... that was it ... prayer chains.
Soon it was mid-morning ... and I had done nothing except work on the necklace ... I should have been anxious & restless ... but I wasn't ...
Another whisper ... "Take your time, MJ. There's no hurry. Really there's nothing so important that it can't wait until things are sorted out."
My thoughts drifted to my friend ... the one who's trying to navigate ... all of the changes ... in their life. Thought that was a fairly graphic & accurate description ... of what was going on ... over there in that life ... when it was offered to me recently.
Gut-wrenching ... habit-breaking ... real-live, honest-to-God soul searching ... change ...
Change is hard. Especially when it's the kind of change that involves getting to the heart of things ... getting to the heart ... of WHO you are.
It's possible to become lost ... even when you are on the right road ... heading to where you know you want to go ... that's the worst kind of lost, too ... cuz you never really saw the wrong turns .. when you took them ... they seemed to be the right ones ... at the time ...
... and then the finding of your way back ... to yourself ... well, it's hard ... and it hurts ... and it takes time ... to sort all of those confusing, conflicting things out.
Spent quite a bit of time on that one ... not worrying ... I had rejected the worry bead concept ... after all ...
I was praying ... over those chains ... and if you're my friend who's trying to navigate those changes in your life ... then know ... I was praying for ... you.
... and ... you ... and ... you ... and ... you ...
Because a whole bunch of my friends have similar stories.
Looked at the clock ... I barely had time to get a shower and on my way to the rest of my weekend ...
so I stuck the still tangled necklace into my purse.
Hard to believe I had spent ALL of my available time ... for the whole weekend ... on Jessi's necklace.
Much later in the afternoon ... when I finally had a few minutes ... to tackle the tangle ... again ... I allowed myself a heavy sigh ... and something that quite possibly sounded like a whine ...
Seriously. It really shouldn't be so hard ... or take so long ... to sort out the crossing ups ... and twisted turns ... in these chains.
Of course, He couldn't resist the opportunity for another friendly jab ... "When it's time, everything will simply shake out."
When it's time. Not yet. Of course. I've heard that one before.
Made up my mind not to become frustrated with the process ... I was simply going to keep working at out ... as time allowed ... knowing full well that no matter how tangled up it seemed ... eventually ... it would all shake out ...
I went about the rest of my day.
And sometime ... much later ... I pulled the necklace out ... began wiggling it all around ... puzzling & pondering ... trying to make sense of it all ...
Jessi loves Donald ... Donald loves Jessi ... nothing else really matters to them ... it's that simple ...
Right then, I pulled a piece of chain from over here ... through the loop ... to over there ... and with a shake ... all of the knots came free ...
Tangled ... became ... untangled ... just like that.
... and right on cue ... my best friend, God, Creator of the Universe .. delivered the punchline ...
"Ahhhh, MaryJane ... you're stubborn ... impatient ... maybe even a little pushy at times ... beautiful inside & out .. through & through . There are reasons I made you ... exactly that way.
Just be you ... others will love you, too.
It's really that simple!"
(c) June 2011
