Game On

Today is the first day ... of what's coming next.  And it's also April Fool's Day.  Earlier this morning I found that thought amusing ... this afternoon ... it strikes me that it's something deeper ... and more fitting ... somehow.

A reminder that nothing is ever easy.  And I have to smile because ... well ... I have known that all along.

I was going to mow the grass today ... figured the soggy bog that is my yard would be dry enough to support the riding mower ... at least in the front yard.  Actually, I was looking forward to it.  A ride .. in the sunshine ... the smell of fresh cut grass ... and chance for a bit of pondering ... and a one-on-one chat with God.

Pulled up in the driveway after church ... glanced at the garage door ... and had to laugh.  I can't mow my grass today.  The lawn mower is being held hostage ... at the moment.  April Fool!

Then I decided the next best pondering therapy was going to be ... blogging.  Seems there is something weird going on with a bunch of stuff on my computer today.  I am hoping it's due to changes in facebook .. changes in blogger ... changes in the universe ... and not a problem with MY computer.

Anyway, my whole blog page was ... disrupted.  Some things were there ... others had randomly moved to the bottom of the page.  April Fool .. again!

And now, a couple hours later, after trying to re-design my page into something that I find pleasing and welcoming ... I am settling.  Surely, tomorrow or the next day the formatting tools will work in some logical fashion again.

Tired.  That's what I am today.  Mentally ... emotionally ... physically.

The last couple of weeks I have simply relaxed into the right now ... of things.  And haven't really given much thought to the consequences ... or the outcomes ... at least not where I am concerned ... of the time spent.


And on the ride home last nite ... I asked for some validation ... some positive reinforcement ... a sign ... that what I had offered had really been the best strategy.  It was an unseasonably warm March evening ... so warm that at 9 p.m. it was perfectly pleasant to be riding with the top down.

An odd harbinger of sorts.  Not typical weather.  Clearly indicating that change is in the wind.

As I pulled into the driveway, he raced towards me ... as if to welcome me home ... my little rabbit ... it's been months and months ... since I've seen him.  Surely it was a sign of hope.

This morning, I awoke with anticipation ... knowing full well I was going to be given something ... a little more definite ... to let me know if I have been on ... or off track ... the last week or so.

The box turtle in the middle of the road caught me completely off guard.  There's no way it's the same taunting turtle from my past ... too far from his home ... totally out-of-season ... he was paused there on the center line ... neck extended ...  unafraid.

"Way to go, MJ!" he seemed to say. "You're taking a chance ... you're making a difference!"

Then came the triple play ...  in Del's message this morning ...  The Land of Hopes & Dreams ... that's what he talked about ... backed up by a little Bruce Springsteen ... we all sang along ... we do things a little different at Grace Community ...

Reflect on who you are ... who you are becoming ... and who you want to be.

You have to take the time to look at yourself ... to see what the world is doing to you.

Find some people who will dream with you ... who will tell you how glorious life can be ... 

who will talk to you ... invest time in you ... to help you re-find your hopes & dreams.

Heal.  You have to take the time to heal.

And I am thinking to myself ... maybe, just maybe, I am getting it right ... touching a life ... making a difference. 

Del said he was going to tell a joke ... "This is a CPA" ... that's what he said.  Flustered & confused ...  Del corrected himself ... actually it's a "Corny Preacher Joke Alert" ... I forgot the "J" ...

No one else laughed out loud ... just me ... and my Best Friend, God, Creator of the Universe.

It was a private punchline ... an indisputable "AttaGirl!" ... you see, it isn't forgotten ... the "J" is  in the palm of His hand!

Life is hard.  And it can reach inside and grab your heart ... yank it out ... leaving you empty ... with no hopes and dreams.  Yet ... I still choose to believe in the possibility of happy endings.

Bases are loaded.  The batter is in the box.  

Swing ... Batter, Batter ... Swing!

www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com
(c) April 2012

Chopped Liver

Liver is ... well, let's just say it's not one of my favorite things.  The smell .. the taste ... it's pretty much repugnant to me.  To others, though, it's a delicacy.  A rare & wonderful treat.

A busy week, it was.  Jammed packed with meetings, activities, projects, work ...

Slice and dice.  Chop. Chop.

And it was a very good week!  Productive and full of new opportunities.

Grind. Grind. 

The week ended with plans to hang out with some friends ... with no objective ...
other than fun!

Sautee in schmaltz.

The perfect recipe for chopped liver.

Chopped liver is an interesting combination of ingredients.  Mixed together to create a unique taste.  No two batches are ever quite the same. 

Snobs call it ... pate'. 

Truth is ... chopped liver ... by any other name ... is still  ... chopped liver.

There are even recipes for "mock" chopped liver ... made from peas, eggplant, string beans, mushrooms.  But they are merely substitutes ... for the real deal.

Funny, isn't it?  People trying to make chopped liver ... into something that it's not.  Something that is more appealing to the masses, perhaps.  Instead of simply accepting that ... pate' ... isn't for everyone. 

A taste for it requires a discerning palate.  Like maybe, one in ten million ... really and truly ... like ... chopped liver.

Jessi had sent me a message on Thursday letting me know that "another t.v. dinner" wasn't really making her happy.   So I was looking forward to the weekend ... and to some Jessi-time.

With an impatient sigh, she informed me, "I'm busy this weekend, Mom.  I have PLANS!" 

And, truth was, she did.  A bowling banquet.  An early St. Patrick's dance.  Church.  Lunch with friends.  And some quality time with Donald.

Reality check.  She doesn't really "need" me anymore.  Her life is full and complete.  She just misses me when we're both busy for a number of days ... and we don't find time to connect. 

She's ALL GROWN UP now ... that's what she tells me.

And I am ... chopped liver.

It wasn't just that, though.  There were other things thrown into the mix.  Adding a little spice.  A little flavor.  For good measure. 

Most likely I was just tired ... when the reality of it all revealed itself.  It's not very often that feeling "unnecessary" gets to me.  I am pretty good at remembering that all of the hand-holding, lifting up, reaching out is sincerely appreciated ... even though not always acknowledged.

And, chopped liver isn't always appreciated either.  Hence the Jewish English phrase,
"So what am I, chopped liver?!?!"  It's an expression of frustration of being ignored on some social level.

That's what Wikipedia says.  An apt description of my feelings. It was also noted that chopped liver is rarely served as a main course ... generally it's a "side dish".  And that's how the "overlooked" meaning came into play ...

... a side dish ... quite possibly the most interesting offering on the table ... but never the center of attention.

BINGO!  

It is somewhat reassuring that, as usual, I was totally accurate ... and in context ... with my turn of phrase.  Interesting, though, that so many of my friends tried to take it ... and make it into something silly ... and dramatic ... and obsequious.

Traditionally, the liver & all of the other ingredients are sauteed in schmaltz.  That intrigued me.  "Schmaltz" was a phrase I had heard tossed around from time to time ... but had never really given a look-see.

Seems that schmaltz is rendered chicken, goose or pork fat.  The picture looks a lot like the lard that we used to pack around the sausage when Uncle Bill was alive.  The word ... and the image ... remind me of lessons learned there on the farm.  Somehow it seems to fit.

Here I am ... a week past the overlooked ... under-appreciated ... feeling.  Trying to clarify my chopped liver ...

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that "falling into the schmaltz pot" ... which is one way of describing the process for preparing truly delicious chopped liver ... traditionally refers to the concept of having something good happen to you.  Being smaltzy means that good things are often happening to you.

The smile was spontaneous ...  as the room filled with the sound of my best friend's laughter.  He so loves it when He sets me up ... for a good joke on me ... catching me offguard ... as He delivers the punchline.

Center-of-the-plate has never really been my style.  And I am content to be the most interesting ... rather than the most noticed. 

Good things are happening. 

Chopped liver.  Guess there a worse things I could be.

www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com

(c) March 2012

Imaginary Friends

Many real-live people  ... are nothing more than ... imaginary friends.

A little girl is sitting in a swing at the playground.  She is enthusiastically talking to the empty swing next to her.  "Mommy has a whole bunch of imaginary friends, too!  They all hang out in a place called Facebook."

Had to smile when that cartoon popped up one day last week.  It was couched in the midst of a stream of status posts from a variety of friends ... ballyhooing the quality  -- or lack thereof -- of their...  friends.

And I am wondering, do people really get on the internet ... to make friends?!?!  And, no, I am not talking about online dating.That's a totally different thing.  I am talking about  hold-my-hand-when-I-cry, celebrate-my-successes, honest-to-God ...  friends.

Lots of people I know, simply add people to their friends list ... because they receive a friend request.  It's absurd, really.  A virtual stranger ... sends you a friend request ... and you accept them as your friend ... and presto-chango ... a virtual stranger suddenly becomes a friend.  I think not.

Virtual strangers are nothing more than 21st century imaginary friends.

Even though I know the people I have on my Facebook "friends" list ... I don't presume that all of them are ... ahem ... my friends. Maybe that's where one gets into trouble ... when one begins to believe that everyone they meet ... or know ... or who wants to tag along with them .. is actually their friend.

Children have imaginary friends.  They are real to them.  They talk to them ... and sometimes, the imaginary friend talks back.  At least that's what the child believes.

Children don't pretend that their imaginary friends are actual people, though.  They are smart like that.

Guess some of us lose some of that smartness as we grow-up. It's not uncommon for some really bright ... but lonely adults ...  to allow themselves to believe that whoever is behind that picture is actually who they say they are .  And I think to myself ... didn't these people ever watch The Wizard of Oz?!?!

Traditional imaginary friends are viewed as abnormal in adults ... but are seen as totally acceptable in children.

I am not sure who Lawrence Kutner is ... or when he wrote this observation ... but I believe it sums it up quite well:

"Imaginary companions are an integral part of many children's lives. They provide comfort in times of stress, companionship when they're lonely, someone to boss around when they feel powerless, and someone to blame for the broken lamp in the living room. Most important, an imaginary companion is a tool young children use to help them make sense of the adult world."

Now try reading it again ... and replace "imaginary companions" with "online friends" ... and replace all references to "children" with "people" ...

Imaginary friends ... are a sign ... that a person needs help making sense of the adult world.  Imagine that!

Something is terribly wrong with a world where the ability to build relationships and make genuine friends is never developed ... where the most meaningful interactions take place in the solitary confines of your room --- online --- with real people pretending to be your friend OR pretend people trying to convince you they are real ....

I think maybe it's the children .. who never learned how to be a grown-up ... that fill up their life with imaginary friends ... on-and-off-line ... because it's easier & faster than actually getting down in the trenches of life with people and building real, lasting friendships.

Friendships are the basis for all good relationships.  If shallow, superficial friendship is all that's offered upfront ... there's not much hope for something wonderful ... to develop later.

I am a people gatherer.  I've been collecting people for as long as I can remember.

People fascinate me.  Each one is different.  Just like snowflakes.  And it's those differences ... mixed in with the things that are held in common that makes
each encounter dynamic. 

Dynamic encounters. Some are positive.  Some are negative.  All of them impact our lives in a million different ways.  I love that!

And each person has a unique personality.  Each personality is multifaceted.  Dimensional.  Sometimes layered.

It often takes a bit of time & effort to really get to know someone ... the genuine who-they-are ... because they have a "game" face ... and an "off-camera" face ... and some have put up a whole bunch of walls ... to protect themselves from the imaginary
friends of the world.

Being a challenge-driven person, that's the part that engages me.  The desire to get to know the REAL person in each individual I meet.  It's a gift of mine, I guess, to always see & respond to the goodness in someone.  Even when when it's buried really, really deep.

A curse, it can be as well.

Sometimes I see things there in a person's eyes ... in their heart ... that they have forgotten about themselves.  Or maybe it's something they have yet to discover.  Those are the ones that I find myself drawn to most of the time.  

The one who is so paralyzed by life, by circumstances, by failure, by disappointment, by fear and sometimes by success ... Just stuck right where they are ... overwhelmed ... overlooked by others ...  unable to see the potential within ... scared to death to believe in themselves ... that's the one that catches my attention ... every single time.

I tend to spend a little more time with those people.  Sometimes I wind up investing too much time there.  Often there is no visible return. Sometimes I get hurt ... by real people who play the imaginary friend game.

Still, I play. Creatively.  Trying to help that person to find those lost or undiscovered things ... about themselves ... on their own.

 It's what I do.  Gathering people.

Down deep in my stocking on Christmas morning, I found this cute little bag ...of people.  See!  Even Santa knows my heart ... how cool is that??!!! 

Turns out these aren't ordinary people ...
they are worry people.  

Apparently when the Mayan Indians had worries, they would whisper those secret things to the worry people then they would place the little effigies under their pillows at night.

Seriously?!?.  The Mayan Indians had pillows?!?!  Ok.  Back to the legend ...

When they awoke, the worry people had taken their worries away.

Wow!  Tell my worries to a tiny bag of imaginary friends ... sleep on it ... and all will be right in my world.

That made me smile.  So with a little twist of my own, I decided to give it a whirl.

The MJ-whoodoo is to assign each of these little worry people to one of my friends. Then I take them out ... one by one ... and share the challenges, struggles & joys of the real-live, living-and-breathing friend ... I talk about each one ... outloud ... with their designated worry person ... and sometimes one of them answers. 

Then I gather all of those little worry people together ... sort of like a conference call ... or maybe it's a prayer conference ... and we take it all to MY imaginary friend.

Yep.  Based on clinical research, I am pretty sure that I am guilty of having one.  You see, in some cases children shared that they have an imaginary friend ... that they never actually visualize ... they simply feel His presence ...

That's my best friend, God, Creator of the Universe.  Guess maybe it's ok for Him to be their best friend, too.

So me and the worry people have a fairly regular pow-wow ... with God ... to talk about the challenges facing my friends.

He likes that ... when I pour out my heart to Him ... on behalf of the people who mean the most to me. He listens.  And sometimes He smiles.

It seems to be working, so far.

Yes.  I am a people gatherer.  And it is my passion in life to share as much encouragement, support & love as I possibly can ... to whoever is in need of those things.  That's how I roll.  Sometimes I find a friend in the process.  Lots of times , though, it's simply a dynamic encounter with a fun & interesting person that I know and care about a lot.  

Just because you like someone doesn't make you a friend.  Just because someone likes you doesn't make them a friend either.  Friendship is a slow process.  It involves fun ... troubles ... joy ... hurts ... happiness ... and lots of quality time.  And trust ... trust doesn't automatically come with a friend request.

It is not uncommon to be a friend to someone who is not a friend in return.  That's not always a bad thing.  And it works both ways.

In a world full of imaginary friends, how do you recognize a real friend?

A friend offers you a place where you are comfortable ... and you can be yourself.  That means it's ok for your warts & flaws to show themselves from time to time.  A friend offers you a place to drop off your worries. A friend celebrates your successes loudly & obnoxiously.  A friend holds your hand & cries with you when disappointment, hurts or failure rush in to overwhelm you.  A true friend offers you a safe place where you can let all the barriers and walls around your heart down .. a place to simply breathe ... it's hard work keeping all of those walls in place, after all.

Friends wander in-and-out, from time-to-time.  In my little bag ... just like in real life.

And even though I am not immune to the imaginary friends of the world ... it's the unseen presence of Him ... that helps me keep it all in perspective.

A handful of real friends ... a little bag full of worries ... that's about all I can handle on my own.  I leave the rest up to Him.

www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com
(c) February 2012