Effortless ...

The word popped up in a conversation with an old friend last Sunday ... while we were discussing how it was that we were worshiping in the same church ... on that day ... it isn't often that we do that anymore ...

... it used be to routine.

Taking a break. Resting. Recharging.  That's what he was doing.  Spending a little time with himself.  And God. 

It's funny.  People think that people who pour it out ... day-after-day ... week-after-week ... do what they do ... touching lives ... making a difference ... by giving of themselves ...they do it ... and it's effortless.

That's what he said.  And we both laughed.  A little.  Because, well, we know better.

So I've been pondering "effortless".

Lots of my friends are in transition right now.  And I guess I am, too. 

Stalled.  Impatiently waiting patiently.  That's where I am right now.  I quit worrying over it ... trying to take control ... fix it ... recently ... which is really not like me ... usually I am do-it-if-it's-wrong kinda gal ... you know, making things happen.

This time it isn't working that way ... not for me.  It's been wasted effort.

One friend told me ... and God ... that she guessed she needed a burning bush ... so there would be no doubt of what she was supposed to be doing now ... next ... she'd been trying so hard ... to move in the direction she thought she should be going.  Truth is, it was the direction she WANTED to be going. 

God has other plans.  Effortless ones.

And late yesterday, in the midst of the pouring rain, I received a text that simply said "I got a burning bush!"

How cool is that?!?  A burning bush in the midst of the storm.

A new leaf.  That was another message ... from another friend ... who is struggling to make sense of it all.

Effortless.  It's all so simple.  Really it is.  So why do we make it so hard?  Trying to do it our way ... as if, we even have a clue.

Earlier this week I had dinner with my friend who has always been like a sister to me ... who is now married to my brother ... guess that makes us "family" all the way around ... legally and in the heart ...

She is so special. 

Growing up, I wanted to be just like her.  Beautiful ... bold ... bright ... intelligent ... fun ... confident ... there wasn't anything she couldn't do ... at least that's the way it looked to me.

When she got those  brown wooden Candies  ... with the three straps ... I had to have some, too.  Remember, we wore them all year-round ... feet bare in the warm weather & with our bright colored socks in the cooler times.  LOL.

And when she took the road less traveled and chose French over Spanish in high school .... I knew that was exactly what I was going to do as well.

In junior high she had a boyfriend.  They wrote notes and talked on the phone.  She called him "botchulism".  She smiled when she said it ... and once again, she was leading the way as we came of age ... discovering who we were and who we weren't.  I wanted to feel that way about some boy ... someday.

She has always done the good stuff first. Showing me ... how easy it was ... effortlessly.

Like being independent .  She's been an entrepreneur from the git-go ... it took me years to get there ... here ...

And finding happiness.  Once again, she is blazing the trail.  After waiting a lifetime, she has found her way into the arms of her best friend ... and they both have found their passion there.  It seems so simple now ...

I want that, too.  To feel that way.  Safe & secure.  Traveling through the rest of my life with my best friend, lover & adventure partner.

She has always made each transition appear effortless ... to me.  Even though I know that it really hasn't been easy ... a lot of the time.

So we had dinner with our mothers.  Then we chatted & caught up ... just the two of us. 

She asked questions & made some comments about the different things in my blogs.  She said she loves reading what I write.  That made me smile. 

The she said the most amazing thing ... she said she looks forward to each new post ... that what I have to say always lifts her spirits.

... and there's no one in the world whose spirits I would rather raise ... right now ...

And God laughs ... outloud ... aren't you reading those messages I am sending you about "work" and  "passion"!?!  Aren't you seeing all of the signs pointing you in the direction you need to go, MJ?!?  Put the map away ... turn off the GPS ... quit trying to figure out the shortest distance from here ... to what's coming next ...

Put the top down ... shift gears ... push the pedal ... move ... forward ... accelerate ... LIVE!

You lift my spirits.  That's what she said.

I had no idea. It's just what I do. Write what I write. Share a little piece of my heart.

Effortless. 

http://www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com/
(c) Mary Jane Sawyer, 2010

Courage

"Courage.

That's what I've always admired about you, Mary Jane.

Your courage."

Immediately an image popped in my head of Bert Lahr in THE WIZARD OF OZ  as the Cowardly Lion saying, "What have they got that I ain't got?!?!"

And his friends respond loudly...COURAGE!

That observation was offered up by a friend over lunch earlier in the week.  We hadn't seen each other in months.  There had been lots of changes in both of our lives.  Our visit was positive, fun, and filled with a genuine shared excitement over the new directions we were both taking since last we met.  Lots of laughter & smiles!

Courage.  Whatever.  My face showed total astonishment & disbelief at her view of me.    And I was thinking, does she really think that sending my lunch back because I found a hair in my plate took courage?!?! 

Seriously, I am not brave.

 Yes, MJ, you are.  You face life with honesty & hope.  You don't let the bumps & scrapes slow you down....and when the bigger hurts come you embrace them....you live through the pain....and grow from the experiences....and then you share your stories with openess & genuineness....you are an encouragement & inspiration to many, many people....you touch lives you don't even know you are touching...

That's what she said....or something fairly close to that....and if I got it wrong, she promises to post a retraction!

It was very cool to hear that on that specific day.  It had been a tough morning. 

Sometimes when I post a blog....I get no real feedback.  Othertimes, I get some nice touches about how well I write or thanks for sharing that.  On occasion, though, I write about something that seems to hit targets all over the place....you know a scattershot.....with no aim.....finding a dozen or so bullseyes....

That seemed to be the case when I posted my last blog on Transition.

Several of my friends were SURE that it was them that I was referring to in the blog....and it was none of them...the friend I had the actual conversation with knew I was writing about it.  It was amazing to me how many said that it was one of the most hard-hitting, direct messages I had ever posted.....it seems that me and a great many of my friends share similar stories...

....actually, I already knew that....

Transition was about me....it wasn't about anyone else....yes,  one friend shared something from their own story with me that resonated deeply....and caused me to see myself more clearly.  And that the choices I had been making weren't really the best ones for me.  My friends had been telling me that very bluntly & directly for a long time....I just didn't want to hear them....or accept the truth.

There was something said in the conversation that validated the decision I had made a couple of weeks earlier based on a conversation with another friend about unresolved relationships....

And for the record....we all have unresolved relationships....every single one of us....so there's nothing too revealing about the fact that a friend told me so about themselves.  Unresolved relationships come in many, many forms....lost friends....co-workers who shared everyday together until one leaves and is simply not there anymore....family members who estrange themselves for years over things that no one really remembers later....important relationships that sort of fade out but are never properly ended....

There's a whole bevy of professional counselors preaching "closure" who make a very lucrative livelihood on the common sense knowledge that all of our lives are filled with unresolved relationships that impact every thing we do....every decision we make....until we acknowledge them....live through the pain....and let them go....

There's a new song out by Kris Allen, "The Truth" that says: 

"Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now"

and

"Stop pretending it's not ending...let the end begin"

That's what I was writing about....me....being honest with myself....letting the end begin.... the way I had been fooling myself....holding myself back....putting my life on pause while I waited for the remote possibility that all of the planets would align....and I would finally get what I thought I wanted....

I was laying it out there for all to see....how silly I had been....how I was guilty of seeing only what I wanted to see instead of what was really real....it was actually a little scary to reveal that I was honestly so confused & mixed up when everyone thinks I have it all together so much of the time....

....and then no one thought I was talking about me....they thought I was talking about them....

ha ha....that isn't even funny....on any level....

That conversation...the one I referred to in the Transition post.... made me take a hard look at myself.... to admit that I had been shutting my eyes to the reality of a situation...and gave me the courage to do what I had known I needed to do....had been trying half-heartedly to do....for months & months.

I feel really, really dumb.  Humiliated.  And more than a little upset with myself for being such an idiot....when I know I am smarter than that....and that I deserve better.

So, yes, I finally found the courage....but it wasn't from within....that courage came from a friend.

God has blessed me with amazing friends.  When I mention "a friend" here....it is never to expose them...or hurt them....or provide commentary on their lives.  I write about MY life lessons....things I am learning as I wander around in my own story.  And when my friends say things or do things that encourage me, motivate me or provide clarity to things that have been confusing or troublesome to me....I share those things....not so much THEIR stories but how their interaction has changed ME.

It's really no surprise that me & so many of my friends share similar stories....it's really very simple....it's just life....each story unfolding at its own pace....characters are all different but the storylines are all the same....somehow I think the Author of the Universe planned it that way on purpose....

I do share openly about my life and my struggles and the lessons I am learning.  And sometimes I wonder if that's a good thing. 

Then someone says to me....wow....you have no idea how much that meant to me....helped me....changed my view on things....gave me the encouragement I needed to do what I needed to do....

....and then there is a nudge....or a whisper....an AttaGirl, MJ....

....letting me know that it is a good thing....after all.

www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com

(c) mary jane sawyer, May 2010

Transitions

Sometimes things just happen....without warning....no rhyme or reason....next thing you know you are a little further down the road....knowing that once again you stumbled upon a detour....or maybe you just jiggged when you were thought you were gonna jog & found yourself on  an almost undiscovered path....

Keeps life interesting....if you're open to change....& adventure....

Being involved in the making of the movie, STEP AWAY FROM THE STONE, has been one of those excursions....it was not where I thought I was going last fall....heck, for once in my life I HAD a plan....with action steps....& a viable To Do List....

....then God said....nope, MJ....I have a different plan...

The movie industry has a lingo all its own....just like every other specialty....always wondered why that was....my guess is it's to keep insiders IN and outsiders OUT....a secret code....only for the accepted & initiated....

As the post-production editing process has been underway, one of the key words has been "transition".  Producer, Karen McCann, says when someone doesn't know a film term she refers them to wikipedia for a definition.  Wikipedia says that in film a "transition" refers to a "dissolve":  In film editing, a dissolve is a gradual transition from one image to another.

As we discuss scenes....and sequence....and flow....she always tells me that it's important to leave a few seconds a the end of the clip for transition....

A few seconds....that's it....in film....in life....between right now....and what's coming next....

Transitions.  That's what keeps things moving forward.  Much like chapters in a book.  Scenes are created to capture a significant piece of the unfolding story.

There's always more to the story than what can be captured in an hour and a half of  film.  So it's important to only capture the highlights....the specific events that are the stepping stones from what-has-been to what-is-coming-next....too much information....and the pace bogs down....and interest is lost....

So the transitions become very important.  They are the bridges spanning the missing pieces....the lapses of time....the flashbacks....what's happening over here at the same time as what's happening over there....

It's the same in life.  Transitions.  Post partum blues.  The calm before the storm.  The low that follows every amazing high.  The valley respite after the mountaintop experience. 

The times when God simply says Be Still.  Take a few seconds.  Catch your breath.  Rest.  Recharge.  Get ready for what's coming next.....

During the still times....it's very easy to fall back into old habits that you are trying so hard to leave behind....and you wonder why it is that you're supposed to be still right now....when BUSY is what you need to keep you from taking out those memories....replaying those scenes....wandering back to the places that you just left in the hopes of recapturing something that no longer exists....or hoping to change the outcome of something that didn't go just the way you wanted it to....

....but the train's already left that station....so you lean back in your seat....wondering where the heck it's going....hoping you are on the right one....watching the landscape pass outside the window....

You rest....you reminisce....& more often than not, you kick yourself later for allowing yourself to be lured back to that place you just left....

Transitions.  Timing.  Pace.  Flow.  Life.

Recently, a friend shared with me that in a particular situation the problem was that this really good thing came along a few years too soon....that, of course, it WAS the right thing....exactly what was desired....it just came about "too soon".... in a couple of years all of the things that don't work right now will be ....resolved....and then it will be great....

Ok.  I guess that could happen.  Anything's possible. 

It's never worked out that way for me, though.  I just spent the better part of two years putting my life on hold....waiting on all those pesky things that were keeping the "right" thing from being the "right" thing to resolve themselves....

Lesson learned.  If it's the "right" thing.  It simply is.  Right now.

If there are a bunch of  "when this happens"...or "if only this happens"....then it probably isn't the "right" thing.  It just looks like what you think you want.

Another lesson learned.  What I THINK I want isn't necessarily the "right" thing after all.  God has to keep reminding me of that one.....that what He has written into my story is going to be far more amazing than anything I can dream up on my own....and if I'd just stop trying to prolong each chapter....each scene....

If I'd embrace the transitions....move forward....I'd get to the good stuff a whole lot quicker...

There's always a reason why things are the way they are....& why they happen when they do.  Each scene of the movie....each chapter of the story....builds upon the one before to prepare us for what's coming next....

And if something presents itself  "too soon" in the story....then it's really not what it seems....it's a detour not a destination....detours are the scenic routes of the stories....fun....interesting....sidebars to the journey...

It's an experience designed to help us have a clearer idea of where we are heading....what we are looking for when we get there....

I struggle with that a lot.  The holding on to the familiar....even after it has become totally obvious that the chapter has been closed....begging me to turn the page....reading....rereading....rewinding....replaying....

Hoping that somehow I missed something....that the it really didn't turn out that way....that somehow if I linger it will miraculously turn into a different story....the one that moves along the way I want it to....instead of the way it really is....

Transitions....just a few seconds....that's all you get....a pause to catch your breath....before the story moves on....with or without you....

If you linger too long the transition turns into a roadblock....and by the time you begin to move forward again....it's possible that you've missed an important part of the story....something good....that you now have to fastforward through in order to get to where you were supposed to be all along...

Funny.  I have been putting off writing about "transition" for a few days.  It first occured to me on Saturday...and I have thought about it a lot over the weekend....

Pretty sure where I got to here isn't where I originally intended to go with this train of thought.....

Then I remembered today's message: 

On this day, God wants you to know...


... that there are times when a change of direction is for your highest good. It takes courage to change direction. Choose the path your heart agrees with and walk with your head high and your eyes open. Don't be afraid
 
....and somehow, I am sure that whatever it was that I thought I should say wasn't important.
 

www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com
(c) mary jane sawyer, May 2010