A Way, Away, Aweigh

My mom has a way with words.  That's not exactly what Abbi posted a week or so ago ...
but it's what she meant.

Mom, that's me.  And she was sharing a letter I had written to her during one of the most despairing seasons of her life ... of my life.

It was a true winter. And it took a long time for our hearts to experience spring again.

Find the love.  In every situation.  Regardless of circumstances.  No matter the season.
That's how one survives.  By finding the love.

That was the message in the letter.

Her post reminded me that for quite some time ... I have been AWAY from my words.
Not those specific words but just words in general.

It's not that I haven't had anything on my mind.  Just things not ready to be put into words,
I guess.  Maybe more aweigh ... than away.

A couple of people who know me well have given me new journals to write my stuff down in.
And I haven't even been jotting my rambling thoughts and feelings down in those private places.

So not like me.

Who knows ... maybe my inner voice has been quiet because there isn't really anything I have to say that anyone wants ... or needs ... to hear at this time.

It's February now. Too late really for a New Year's resolution.  Besides, I tend to celebrate my personal new year on my birthday ... making wishes ... saying prayers ... resoluting on my own time.

So today I will simply make this note to myself.  A friendly reminder that words matter.

Words create ripples ... that flow on and on and on ... far beyond the horizon of the moment ... deep into the seasons to come ...
in the end only kindness and love matter.

(c) www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com
February 2019

Change ... as in oil

Errands to run and an oil change.  That was the agenda for my only day off this week. Even though the sun was high ... and more than a little warm ... I set out with the top down!  Driving the top down always makes me happy.

Got the first couple of things checked off my list and headed to the automotive center to get that oil change.

Pulled in and the older woman at the counter was friendly ... and flustered.  Seems it had been a busy day and one of the registers was without a cash drawer.  So she could only check people in ... not out.

She asked which oil change I was interested in today.  The basic one just offered the oil and oil filter.  Nothing more or less.  The standard oil change had those things plus checks on a variety of things ... and a vacuum.  It was $10 more.

I ride around with the top down as often as possible, so my front floorboards are always in need of a vacuum.  I opted for the second choice.

I had noticed the rain this past week that I was desperately in need of new wiper blades.  Since that was one of the things that would be checked, I told her go ahead and have them put those on.

I wandered into the big box store to do a little shopping while I waited.  She had said it would be about 20 minutes. First I went and gathered up a couple of things I knew I needed and the pulled a fun impulse buy off of the sale rack.

Nothing like a good bargain!

After I made my purchases I was heading back to wait in the automotive area when my name was called over the intercom stating that my car was ready.  Perfect timing!

When I reached the counter, the younger woman cashier was checking out a man who didn't speak very good English.  He had a friend with him who kept interrupting the transaction to ask if he could purchase the large pile of non-automotive items at that register.

Patiently, the cashier would ask if the items were a part of the man's transaction who had received automotive services.  The man said, "No."  She would begin again to explain to her customer about his automotive service and the 2nd man would interrupt again asking if he was going to be able to make his purchase at that register.

There were 4 or 5 of us in line waiting to conduct our automotive business. Finally the man who didn't speak very good English indicated that he would pay for his friend's items so that the transaction could be completed.

In the meantime, the older woman who had the register with no cash drawer attempted to assist those of us in line. She was very frustrated that she was not allowed to handle the transactions for those paying with a card ... since no cash was involved.  Still, she remained outwardly cheerful.

It was obvious that the day continued to be challenging for the helpful cashiers in the automotive department.

Finally it was my turn.  The cashier told me that I had been a quart low when I brought my car in and that the mechanic was recommending a new air filter soon.  Then she said, "Oh, they didn't vacuum because there were items on the floor behind the driver's seat."

Big sigh.  I wondered aloud why they had not vacuumed the front floorboards since it was obvious the were in need of cleaning and had no items of any kind on them. She smiled and asked if I would like to have the car pulled back in for them to do it.

I shrugged and said that it was ok but that the vacuum was the main reason I had chose to go with the upgraded oil change.

"Wait! Don't insert your card yet," she said cheerfully.  "My manager is here and I bet he will let me give you a $10 discount so that you only pay for the basic oil change."

About that time the manager appeared, as if on cue, from a back room.  She explained to him that my car had not been vacuumed and asked if she could charge me for the basic oil change instead.  He was fine with that. 

The line behind me had continued to grow.  The automotive counter staff never lost their cool even though everyone was having to be funneled to the one register.

The cashier did some things on her screen and waited for the manager to return to type in his code.  He walked over.  She reminded him that it was a $10 discount that she was wanting to give to me.  He was perspiring and looked a little harried.  He smiled at me quickly and tapped on the screen.  She looked at the screen and back at him incredulously.

"No," she said. "That's not right." 

With another quick smile my way, he said, "That's what I want to do" as he walked away.

Slowly she turned the screen towards me and said, "That's your total for today's service."  

$0.00

I was stunned.  The original total was $54 and some change.

I told her that was not what I was expecting.  I hadn't even complained. Not really.

Much like the manager, she tossed me a quick smile and said, "Well that's what he wanted to do for you ... and he did."

She handed me my keys and sent me on my way.

It was a very good day.

(C) Lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com  June 2018

4:44

I awoke from a deep sleep and instantly began recalling my dream.  Not so much what was actually happening in the dream, simply that everything in my dream had something to do with the number 4.

Dates added up to 4.  Encounters with people were in 4s.  Tables were set as 4 tops.  That kind of stuff. Then I rolled over and looked at the clock before falling back to sleep.  It said 4:44.



Later in the day I began to wonder about the significance of the number 4.  So I did a Google-search for "Meaning of the number 4".

At the top of the list was an article titled "5 Reasons Why You Are Seeing 4:44 - The Meaning of 444".  Intrigued, I clicked it open to find "Did you just see 4:44?  You were guided to read this article". 

I kid you not. 

So here are the 5 reasons:
1.  You Are on the Path of Awakening.
2.  You Are Fully Supported in your Life Journey.
3.  You Are on the Right Path, Just Trust.
4.  You Are in Harmony with The Universe.
5.  Listen To Your Intuition.

All good stuff.  And it resonated with my inner spirit.

Further research tells me that when you see a repetition of the number 4, angels are trying to reach you with a message.  And it is an important message so you must be sure your heart and mind are open to receiving it.

Angel number 4 resonates with practicality. It is also about organization. This can mean you need to get your life organized or that you have a very organized life.  Most definitely the first on in my case!

Determined and productive come into play as well.  The message might be to keep working on something until it is completed.

Another possible message has to do with patience and devotion ... a reminder that you don't like to give up on people.

It seems that angels send you the number 4 as an answer to your prayers. The answer is forthcoming and will become clear if you keep your thoughts positive and your heart open.  Sure.  I can do that.  I am a positivity and possibility consultant, after all.

And if the number 4 keeps showing up, it is a message that the angels are surrounding you offering up encouragement and support in all that you are doing right now.

One of the last things I read about the significance of the number 4 and the message it held for me was plain & simple.  Deep inside I heard the familiar Ding! Ding! Ding! that always lets me know that I have stumbled upon the truth.  It's the one I am choosing as my take-away ... for today!

You Are Right Where You Are Supposed To Be

(c) lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com

May 2018

Friday Flats & Fences

It was Friday ... and Jessi was coming to help at the tea shop in the afternoon.

She was ready when I got to the workshop to pick her up after lunch. We hopped on to the highway to head on in.

On the way for just a few minutes when I heard the dreaded flat tire sound on the pavement. I pulled over safely on to the shoulder and dialed up AAA. Within 15 minutes a nice older gentleman pulled up in a swanky AAA Roadside Assistance vehicle. He made a face as he pulled the ancient do-nut style spare out of the trunk of my latest project car.

It's a 1995 Toyota Celica Convertible. Been driving it for a few months but have never had any reason to examine that spare ... until today.

Quickly he changed out the tires. "Don't go over 50 on that one," he said. "It isn't safe."

I figured it was good to limp on in to the tea shop and then back home. I made the call to arrange to have a couple of new tires put on first thing in the morning.

Jessi had a lovely time playing hostess at the tea shop. Some of her friends stopped by and she made new friends as well.

When it was time to leave, we picked up a drive-thru dinner as we made our way to a performance of The Little Mermaid at a high school in a nearby community.

No information could be found as to the location of the Auditorium or parking anywhere. It was as if the expectation was that no one from the general public would be attending the performance ... only those who were familiar with the fairly large campus.

After receiving conflicting directions from others trying to find a spot, we ended up parking about 4 blocks behind the high school only to discover that the entire campus was surrounded by a 6' chain link fence. We had to trek a few blocks to a main street and then cut through the parking lots of the police station and post office in order to reach the building that had been pointed out as our destination.

Upon arrival it was obvious that this was not where we were wanting to be. A nice custodian person let us in a back door and explained that we were on the wrong side of the campus. She suggested that we trek back to our car and then head back around to the front of the school. There we could attempt to park along with other play-goers ... and, oh yeah, there was also a basketball tournament under way. Reluctantly, she directed us through a maze of hallways that allowed us to arrive at the auditorium just in time for the curtain.

Jessica loves live theater. The performance was magical. The young talent was strong and had us captivated throughout the show.

After the show a nice high school staff person told us that we could go through the building ... the way we had come in ... to the back parking lot so that we didn't have to wander around the dark side streets to where our car was parked.

Following our imaginary trail of bread crumbs, we made our way through the building to the backside of the campus. Thinking we had found our exit, we pushed the door open and stepped outside. Just as the door slammed shut I realized we were not in the parking lot. Rather we were in a courtyard surrounded by one of those 6' chain link fences.

The gates were all locked and, of course, we were locked out of the building.

Trying not to show my panic to Jessi, I headed for the gate and cheerfully handed her my purse. I was wishing I had my PF Flyers. You know, the shoes that make a kid run faster and jump higher from my youth.

Boldly, I scaled the fence and slid down the other side. It wasn't pretty but I was hoping it looked easy to Jessi.

As she handed me my purse along with her PattiCake & Howie John, I said "Come on, Jessi. Climb over." So she tried ... putting her hands through the chain links and attempting to find a toe hold.

"I can't!" she declared.

"Sure you can," I encouraged. "Put your hands here on top of the fence and then put your foot there on that (waist-high) bar."

In a flash, she was on top of the fence. Her move was super hero worthy. Precariously balanced on top for a moment or two, her pants leg got hung up and experienced a little rip on the way down the other side.

There are no words to express how awed and amazed I was at her bravery. I was so very proud of her. Jessi, on the other hand, was more focused on the little rip in the bottom seam of her pants. I assured her I would mend it or buy her a pair of new pants.

Full of ourselves for overcoming our obstacle, we quickly made our way to the car and hopped on the highway to head home. We were heading north when the ancient do-nut spare that had been put on earlier in the day started making a funny whining noise before it gave up the ghost. By the time I was able to get clear of the construction zone and exit into a parking lot, I could hear the metal of the wheel grinding the pavement.

Second call to AAA of the day. This time for a wrecker to tow it on over to the tire shop that I was already planning to visit first thing in the morning.

Like a true knight in the night, Roland rescued Jessi & I from the side of the road. Another fine man of the same ilk named Bruce came for my little car.

Two new tires the next morning. All's well that ends well.

(R) www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com
March 2018

Another Hallmark Moment

Last night as I was fixing dinner, Jessi showed me her Valentines from her boyfriend. She had a swell silk rose that lit up when you pushed the button on the stem and a sweet furry pink plush dog that Jessi promptly named "Pinky". Her boyfriend, Donald, received a heart shaped box of candy and a picture frame that she had made for him.

Sweet valentines!

I asked her where MY Valentine was and she gave me a blank stare. So I tried again asking when was I going to be getting MY Valentine from her. With a shrug of her shoulders, Jessi responded "Tomorrow." Of course I then suggested that she wait until ... tomorrow ... to get her Valentine from me.

That was a no go. Jessi didn't want to have to wait until the day after Valentines Day for her gift. Imagine that.

I think she realized that I was disappointed so she offered up a further explanation.

"It's in Ms. Jackie's area, Mom, I went there today for my women's group and we planted seeds," she said.

And then she wandered off as I finished preparing our meal.

When she returned she continued "I will bring you your gift tomorrow. It's marigolds. That's what we planted today."

I assured her that would be fine.

"You know, Mom, marigolds take time to grow."

I had to smile. Yes, Jessi, marigolds do take time to grow ... and tea takes time, too.

It reminded me of a Hallmark moment from my past ... so I searched my lifelessons-mj blog to find the post.

Season after season ... some lifelessons remain the same.

(January 30, 2010 - A Hallmark Moment - lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com)

Watching the Hallmark Channel...while I am cleaning out drawers in the kitchen...

I know, I know....

Commercial comes on...it's about a father & a daughter....

The card he gives her says:

From This Seed
That Can Not Be Seen....

Good Things Will Come.

She says: Do you really think so?
He says: I know so.

Sigh

I know I'm not supposed to.....and it makes everyone else angry & upset with me when I do....but....

I really, really miss my Dad.

(c) lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com

February 2018

Pull The Plug!

"Pull the plug!"

That's what my mechanic friend told me on the phone the other day.  He said it was as simple as that to get the vintage 4 Runner running.

The dandy old thing was running just fine one day. The next day it seemed to be dead as door nail.  No warning.  Just turn the key ... and nothing ... nada ... dead.

First thought was it's the battery.  So being experienced jumpers, we tried that.  It didn't work.

The next seemingly brilliant move was to take the battery out of another vehicle and see if that was the fix before going to buy a replacement.  The second battery is only a few months old.  Seemed like a good idea.

Popped the hood and began disconnecting the battery cables .... and suddenly the horn was blaring. Non-stop honking. Really loud.  For no apparent reason.  Even with the dead battery.

It was very distracting to say the least.

Got the old battery out. Put the new battery in.  Horn starts honking.  Still no starting of the engine.

Hmmm.  Maybe it's not the battery.  Maybe it's something else.  Put the old battery in the other car.  It did nothing.  Confirmation that it was indeed .... dead.

Verrrrry interesting!

A quick Google search uncovered some interesting possibilities.  Not being terribly mechanical ... none of it made much sense to these amateur eyes.

Don't get me wrong.  I have just enough mechanical aptitude .... coupled with a bold,
brave do-it-if-its-wrong attitude .... to tackle most any challenge.  But technical-type instructions allude me.

The most common culprit in the variety of threads found was an aftermarket security device that when triggered overrides the starter causing the vehicle not to start .... while alerting the world of a possible theft by the loud blaring of the horn. 

Remove the fuse that powers the horn. Then look for the black box under the dash on the driver's side and pull a wire to permanently disable the security system. That was that most common advice given online.

Defusing the horn was no real trick.  Crawled up under the steering wheel with my little flashlight strapped to my forehead to take a peek.  Near the brake pedal was a black box with a wad of wires coming out of it .... wonder which one to pull? 

There was a red alert flasher near the steering wheel column that purportedly was the signal that the alarm system had been triggered.  So tried to follow the wires from there to the black box.  Again, I found a wad of wires wrapped in black electrical tape that entered what may-or-may-not be another black box against the inside of the body just past the driver door hinge.  It was hard to tell because of all the collections of wires and connectors that were up under there ... blocking my view.  It appeared that the wires originally detected ran from the first black box back up in there to the hidden one.

Not wanting to make a wrong choice that might create a bigger problem, I hesitated to poke or pull any of the wires or connectors there.

Deflated by my own devices, the call was made to my Toyota-certified mechanic friend.  He lives too far away to be of much help when a situation arises that requires bringing the vehicle by.  He is, however, at the top of my mechanical phone-a-friend list.

Quickly, he confirmed what my online research had suggested ... that it was indeed some bogus security device that had been activated randomly and was now overriding the vehicle's ability to start. The fix was as simple as unplugging the wires from the black box.

I told him about the black box I had found near the brake pedal with the wad of wires.  And that I had no idea which wire to pull .... so I had done nothing. 

"You don't pull a wire," he said. "You just press the plastic thingy and pull it ... unplugging the wires."

I didn't see anything that even remotely resembled a plug/unplug thingy.  So I took a picture of the box, messaged it to him, and called it a day.

It was almost a week before it was warm enough ... daylight enough ... and I had time enough to give it another go.  Getting that 4 Runner started was now a necessity ... a priority ... because there were drums to transport ... and other things that were too big to fit into the other little trunk.

Got my mechanic back on the phone.  "Don't have any idea what that box is in the picture," he said. "Its going to be the other one .... over by the front side panel. Just get to it ... and pull the plug ... and the problem will be solved."

Figuring out how to get to it ... that was the challenge.  Timid and afraid of messing something else up I decide to tackle the situation with renewed trepidation. With an air of feigned confidence, I strapped my trusty little flashlight back on my forehead and crawled under again.

Slowly and methodically I worked my way behind the tangles and clusters of wires and connectors that were hanging down. In a eureka moment, I discovered the black box in question wasn't actually attached to any part of the car frame.  It was just wedged up in there .... being held by those random wire bundles. 

Wiggle, wiggle and a sharp tug brought the box into view.  Lo and behold .... just as promised ... there was a little plastic thingy that when pressed ... unplugged all of the wires from the black box.

Simple as that.  Of course, it seemed too simple once it was done.

Old battery was back in its original position.  Turned the key, no go.  Duh! It had already been determined that one was dead!  Popped in the newer battery from the other car ... and presto change-o ... the car started right up!!!

Empowered.  That's how I felt.  And exhilarated! Yay!  I did it!

I successfully pulled the plug! 

And life as we know it ... did not come to an end!

Rather .... new life and energy pulsed into that ole vehicle .... making it road-ready once more!

(c) lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com
February 2018

Painting & Plumbing

It was early Decemeber. That time of year when it's not uncommon to become reflective about the year that is about to end ... and wistful about the opportunities and goodness that may present itself as the new year unfolds.

Especially when the year closing has been ... well ... a year!

First it was a picture and a text message.

"Mom, I know that it's too big ... and the rent is too much ... but it looks just like ME!"

And she was right.  It did look just like her.  A perfect spot for a tea shop.

Thinking to myself "what will it hurt to offer up a little hope" ... especially after the hard year of
re-evaluating life, re-discovering self, and the loss of people who were important ... I texted back and said call the landlord and let's go look at it.

Things happened really fast after that.

What had been a bucket-list kind of dream ... maybe for the years after career-building and professional achievement were over ... quickly took on a heart-beating, breathing life of it's own.

Things were negotiated. Spreadsheets were created.  Invisible doors suddenly revealed themselves ... and were discovered to be wide-open!  Prayers were answered.  And there was even a small miracle or two in the mix.

There were only two really big challenges.  Painting the entire inside ... transforming the dreary drab brown into a soft soothing blue.  Only a handful of volunteer painters were involved. You see, from the beginning it was decided that no negativity would be allowed here.

Some of us simply weren't as young as we remembered ourselves.  And the space seemed to get larger and larger as each day of painting was complete.

One day a friendly angel showed up ... filling the rooms ... and each of us ... with renewed joy and energy.  And finally after days and days ... the painting was complete.

The plumbing saga, however, lingered a little longer.  Making every possible effort to follow all the rules ... each local and state agency was appropriately contacted ... and each one had their bureaucratic perspective on what was needed.

Meaning ... each contact resulted in new pre-opening budget line items.

If it hadn't been such a nerve-racking series of detours, it would have been humorous.  I mean, seriously, the only thing remotely resembling food prep that was going to take place in the kitchen ...was bagging loose tea leaves ... and boiling water.

... and you don't actually need a grease trap when the only thing going into the sink is water ... and tea- flavored water.

All of the water pipes and lines were already in place from a previous tenant who had a salon here. In the end it was just a matter of determining what types and how many sinks had to be installed ... and then finding someone who could hook it all together.

Third time was the charm!

The last 45 days have been a whirlwind of activity.  And even the painting ... and the plumbing ... were really just hiccups.

Tomorrow is the day.  February 7, 2018.  She will officially open the doors ... to a new place,
Abbi's Teas & Things ... a new life ... touching lives & making a difference by serving up nice teas ... and smiles ... to all who enter in.

Yes, Abbi. Dreams really do come true. Happily ever after.

(c) lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com
February 2018

Ouch!

I have never allowed myself ... to belong.  Not anywhere.  Maybe not even to anyone.

It was a random thought that popped up on my drive home from church a few weeks ago.
Like out of nowhere the thought came ...

I don't belong here.  I don't belong anywhere.

In the days since, I have worried over it.  Not worry as in giving it persistent, nagging attention.

But worry like touching something repeatedly ... the way Jessi does any ouchie she encounters.  She will touch it ... rub it until it is raw... pick at a scab until sometimes it bleeds again.
Then she puts on a fresh band-aid.  As if ... that makes it all better.

Jessi loves band-aids.  She believes a band-aid fixes any boo boo ... real or imaginary.

Maybe I am more like Jessi than I want to believe at times because that's exactly what I have been doing with the achy, itchy not-belonging sore spot.  I have been touching my stories ... rubbing them raw ... scab picking and letting the wounds bleed again ... never allowing time for them to heal.

And then, covering them with mental band-aids to protect them from outside irritations.

Sometimes I use plain flesh-colored band-aids.  Other times bright neon ones.  And on really good days, I choose the super hero band-aids.  Really, I do. Just for fun.

And it has occurred to me that possibly this restless, vagabond state-of-heart is something that I have passed on ... accidentally ... you know ... without intent ... or through carelessness ...
often with unfortunate results.

On a different Sunday drive home ... Jessi interrupted my silent pondering.

"Turn it up, Mom! It's Abbi's favorite song!" she cried.

I'm gonna make a change, for once in my life

It's gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference

Gonna make it right ...

Riding along, I was flashing back to a Sunday several months ago. It was October 2 ... to be exact.

Drew was up there on the platform ... talking about loving people, loving God.

Then the music came up ... and he was doing his best Michael Jackson improv!

I'm a victim of a selfish kind of love

It's time I realize ...

It was electric!

A willow deeply scarred, somebody's broken heart

And a washed out dream ...

Drew produced a prop.  It was a mirror.  And he was asking us to take a look at ourselves ...

I'm starting with the man in the mirror

I'm asking him to change his ways

And no message could have been any clearer

If you wanna make the world a better place

Take a look at yourself and then make a

CHANGE!

He attempted to write some affirmations on the mirror. Things that God says when He looks at us.

It was an epic fail from a performance standpoint.

The lights kept reflecting off the mirror ... casting some blinding flashes back into the audience.
So Drew gave up on what had seemed like a great idea in the beginning ... and simply read off the affirmations:

God says ...

I love you.
I am grateful for you.
You are rare and beautiful.
I forgive you.
I will pour my grace & mercy out on you ... every new day.
I have a special calling for you.
I am cheering for you.
I BELIEVE in you

... that what He says ... every time He looks at each and every one of us ... every single day.

Drew promised that there was more to come ... along these lines ... in the weeks ahead.

I went home that Sunday.  I created my own mirror.  Just like the one that failed for Drew.  And it has been propped up against various walls ... looking for a good position ... since that day.

I have been waiting for Drew to continue that series.  So far, it hasn't happened.
Other messages have taken precedence, it seems.

Or maybe the setback was a discouragement that seemed more like a roadblock than an obstacle.

So fast forward... to that Sunday in February when Jessi & I were jamming ...

You gotta get it right, while you got the time

'Cause when you close your heart

You can't close your ... your mind!

 ... and reflecting on a Sunday in October.

Yes, the pun was intended.

Upon arriving home, I walked inside to find that Roland had spent the morning trying to bring some order to the chaos that has followed Jessi's return to the house.  There has been a huge
re-arranging of closet and drawer space ... from upstairs to downstairs.  An extra dresser has been brought in for some of my things which displaced the nice standing mirror that I have enjoyed for so long.

As I left that morning for church I had bemoaned the fact that I had no mirror in the bedroom that I could see myself in as I was dressing.

The song was still in my head as I turned the corner ...

You've got to ...

You've got to move! Come on! Come on!

You got to ...

Stand up! Stand up! Stand up!

Stand up and lift yourself now!

Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!

... and there it was ... positioned perfectly on top of the dresser ... was MY mirror  ... ready for me to see myself ... as I really am ... and ... as God sees me!

Caught off-guard ... as always ... by the outlandish sense of humor of my best friend, God,
Creator of the Universe ... I was immediately wrapped in the warmth of His never-ending love for me.

Unbeknownst to Roland ... God used him ... to bless me!

I could hear Him laughing out loud ... "Who'd you think taught Michael Jackson those moves any way?!" ... as He moon-walked out the door ...

You know it!

You know it!

You know it!

You know ...

Make that change!

lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com

(c) March 2017

Dimes

I visit parking lots for a living.  At least part of the time.  Lots and lots ... of parking lots.

It has become my practice over time to keep my eyes open for pennies and other loose change.

Last year I began depositing all of my finds into my joy jar ... along with feathers, joy notes and other treasures that bless me throughout the year ... so that I could add it up in December and see the sum total of "found" money for the year.

The total was $34.20.  Not too bad ... when you are penny-nickel-dime-ing it ...
with a quarter here and there for good measure.

Truth is, the most common find is a penny.  Followed by a quarter.  Because, you know, quarters are now necessary to obtain air for your tires.  Air used to be free.  Now it costs a quarter or so
for a few hits.

Much like the concept of bottled water ... but I digress.

During a period of a couple of weeks, I found a preponderance of dimes.  It seemed that no matter where I visited ... I would stumble across a dime.  Sometimes it was multiple dimes in one day.

The thing with the dimes become so obvious ... that I made comments about it to those
closest to me.

Then it became a funny thing ... a game of sorts ... to tally up the number of dimes I would find each day.  All in all ... the total was over 20 dimes in something like a ten day period.

This happened in the spring of 2015.  I have told this story dozens of times since then ... but have never taken the time to write it down.

During that same time, some friends of mine began asking me to get together ... to catch up.
I was busy. Driving all of the time.  I kept putting them off.

Their requests became more direct. Urgent. You see, they had something exciting and new to share with me.
*sigh*  Exciting and new, indeed.

"I would love to see you. It has been a while.  But ... I am probably not interested in anything ... exciting and new ... right now."  That was my response.  My friend said, "This is something that I have been working on for some time now.  I want you to know about it."

Finally the very direct call came saying, "Where are you today?  Want to meet for a glass of wine?"

I was nearby so I figured what the heck.  These were friends that I really enjoy ... and if I said yes than we could just get the whole pitch over with once and for all.

So I went through my day ... and sure enough ... I found a couple of dimes along the way.

You have to understand that not only had I been telling those close to me that there must be something significant about the dimes ... but I had also been running it all by my best friend,
God - Creator of the Universe.

I would say things like "What's up with all these dimes, God?"  Or "Find a penny. Pick it up. All day long you'll have good luck.  But ... Find a dime. Pick it up.  Then what?"

Of course, God only answers when He feels like it.  You know, when He's good and ready.

I don't believe in coincidences ... so I just kept picking up the dimes ... and impatiently waiting patiently for the mystery to be revealed to me.

Arrived at the happy hour place to find my friends with another gentleman.  There was that sinking feeling that somehow I was being set-up.  You know how those things go ... bring along a 3rd party testimonial type.

Introductions were made. Polite conversation followed.  Then one of my friends turned to me and said something like ... we're-involved-in-something-new-and-we-want-to-share-it-with-our-friends ... you know, the ole we-wouldn't-want-you-to-come-to-us-later-and-ask-why-we-didn't-call you approach.

I smiled and said, "Thanks. But no thanks.  I am probably not interested.
My plate is very full right now."

Then I turned to the gentleman ... waiting for the double-teaming to begin.  Turns out, he was there to hear about this opportunity ... just like me.  And he was a little more interested than I.

My friend assured me that this was not another "one of those things" and that he would not be wasting my time with such as that.  He said, "Didn't I tell you this was something
I was working on?!?"

So he told his story.  How there were 10 men ... he was one of them ... who took one man's idea and framed it out ... and were now ready to launch a new business ... a mobile app that offers discounts on things you are already buying.

He whipped out his phone and opened up a demo app to show me how it would work.  As he walked me through the app he explained that it was designed to support small business owners everywhere ... to attract new customers and build retention with existing ones.

 "If I told you that all of those small businesses that you coach and consult with could have free advertising on our new app, what would you say?" he boldly asked.

Duh. That was a no-brainer.  Immediately my curiosity was piqued.  He went on to explain how the new company,  Save10, was structured:

Businesses get free advertising by offering a 10% or better discount to Save10 customers.

Customers pay $10 per month to take unlimited advantage of the discounts and offers 

on the Save10 app.

Associates who are customers that love the savings are recruited and paid a 10% commission 

for sharing the app with others.

Smart and simple.
When he was done, I said "Sign me up!"  I wanted to be able to offer the free advertising to my small business friends ... and to be supportive of this friend and his friends.

"But I haven't told  you how much it costs to be an Associate?" he countered.  "It's $24."

"Sure. I can handle $24 a month to make this available to my small business colleagues," I said.

He laughed.  "No, MaryJane.  The annual fee to be a distributor is $24 ... that's per year ... and there are no products or anything you have to buy.  Just put the app on your phone ... and start saving money on things you are already buying.  You will save your $10 back each month simply by using your app at the places you already go ... doing the things you already do."

So we left where we were happy houring ... and headed over to an organizational meeting nearby.

The app was due to go live in a month or so.  This was really a ground-floor opportunity ... to get involved in something new and exciting ... that some friends of mine had developed ... something that was so brilliant that I found myself wishing I had thought of it on my own.

After the meeting, I walked to my car.  My mind was racing ... full of ideas and information ... embracing this opportunity ... that was so unexpected.

It was dark out.  My car was parked under a pole light.  I leaned in to unlock the door ...
and there on the ground ... was a dime.

I shook my head ... and laughed out loud.

It was a bit of a drive home because I live in a satellite community to the larger city.  I turned off the radio so that I could hear the noise and chatter in my own head.

"Okay, God.  So what's up with this whole dime thing?"  I asked boldly ... again ...
for the several hundreth time.

This time a whisper came.  "What do you do with those dimes, MJ?"

"I pick them up.  Just like the find-a-penny-pick-it-up rhyme goes.  So find a dime ... pick it up ... what?!?"

Again came the whisper.  "What do you DO with those dimes, MJ?"

Ahh ... He was probing a little deeper.

"Well, I put them in my joy jar ... and ... save them until ..."

And again ... for the third time ... came the whisper.  "So what exactly are you doing with those dimes, MaryJane?"

And as always ... when the punchline came ... I was awed and amazed ...
at how God works in my life.

"I am saving them ... the dimes .... ohhhhhh ... I get it.  I am saving ... 10!"

God set me up ... way in advance ... so that when the opportunity came ... there would be no doubt. And to underscore the point ... God spoke it to me three times ... just like Peter. (Feed my sheep.)

When God says something three times, it's important.

Finding the dimes ... picking them up ... shifting my focus ... changing my direction ...
as I go about my business of touching lives ... and making a difference.

~October 2016
(maryjane.mysave10.com)

Butterflies & Balloons

My life has been bombarded by butterflies lately. Mostly yellow ones. A couple of black ones. And there was one monarch.

It pretty much started the day the Audi died. Driving the speed limit ... on the highway. First there was a surge, followed by a quiet pop and then nothing but neutral. Coasted to the side of the road and turned the car off. It was the death of the little red convertible.

She had been nothing but a hussy from the git-go. Pretty. Fun to drive.
But terribly high-maintenance ... and expensive!

As I was making the necessary calls to AAA ... and others ... I noticed a bright yellow butterfly dancing all around. Dipping & diving in the grass along the side of the shoulder ...
dipping & diving across the hood of my car.

It was so obvious ... significant ... that I commented about it during one of those calls.

For the most part, the next week or so was full of rain.

Soon I was back on the road again with my ghetto car. A nifty 2000 Toyota Celica that I christened "MaDime" because she is silver ... and for several other reasons that were obvious to me.

On the day of the first roadtrip with my new ride, there was a persistent whisper: 

"Keep your eyes on the ground. You will see something special."

So kept looking. Waiting. Found a few cans along the way... and 1 penny.

Then I came across the beautiful butterfly with the injured wing. I was able to catch it on my finger and move it off of the pavement. It made a tentative attempt to fly. Then settled on the grass.

It was special.

Afterwards, I found pennies everywhere! 16 pennies in one parking lot.

It was a blessed day!

Since then the butterfly sightings have been crazy!
Everywhere I turn, there are butterflies. Dipping. Diving. Dancing.
When I am driving. When I am walking. When I am looking out the window.

So many butterflies.

One friend with great discernment observed earlier this week, "The butterfly sightings can't be by chance, MaryJane. You have a specialness about you!"

Of course, I began looking into the meaning of butterfly sightings ... and butterfly colors.

Everyone knows all the analogies about the caterpillar turning into a butterfly. Transformation. Change. And the like.

My butterflies were not brand-new ones. Each one has been full-blown ... in its glory. And in the case of the one in the parking lot, maybe spreading their wings a little too wide and 

flying a little too fast.

Most butterflies only live 1 to 2 weeks after they are released from their cocoon. Monarchs, however, have been known to live for up to 6 months.

They are a reminder that life is fleeting and time moves quickly. Butterflies represent joy, freedom, creativity and change. They teach us to live in ... and fully enjoy ... the present moment.

It is believed in some cultures that angels often communicate through butterflies. And departed loved ones, too. Both beliefs give me comfort.

If that is the case, then there must be a lot of angels and loved ones surrounding me right now. Each time a butterfly crosses my path, I am trying to take heed and open my heart to the message of great importance that I am certain it has been sent to share ... with just me.

It has been suggested that if one is seeing a lot of butterflies, one might ask what changes in life need to be made ... today ... to live more authentically. That has caused me pause on more than one occasion.

The majority of the butterflies that have come my way have been yellow. Yellow butterflies are said to represent prosperity.

Black butterflies ... like the one in the parking lot ... represent a shift in power ... a positive change. I find that particularly interesting since it was the one with the damaged wing. I did my best to help it find its way. At another time, a black butterfly dive bombed my windshield while I was driving ... pulling up at just the last second and soaring over the top of my car. A Top Gun stunt of sorts that left me humbled ... and smiling.

A monarch butterfly is a visual reminder to live in the present. And is viewed by most as a symbol of hope. Yeah, one of those flew around me and my car, too. 

In my reading about the monarch butterfly, a scripture was referenced. It resonated with me so I made note of it:

1 Peter 5:7 - Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you.

You see, I have had a few cares lately ... concerning prosperity ... power ... and hope.

Maybe the butterflies' are simply reminders ... especially for me ... 

that everything is going to be ok.

Got to church yesterday ... you know, at a place called Grace ... and Drew spoke to us about 

"giving up." His message was an intro to a theme that he is going to be exploring over the next few weeks.

There was a big bouquet of white balloons at the front. Helium-filled latex birthday-party type balloons. As the service moved along, a few of the balloons began loosing their oomph ... and were starting to droop towards the ground.

The balloons were part of an interactive activity he had planned for the close of the service.

Wrapping up his message, Drew shared that one of the things we ... ahem, I ... you see, at that moment He was speaking directly to me ... should give up was .. all of my cares.

Then somewhere in the midst of the passionate words ... a scripture was put up on the screen ...

1 Peter 5:7 - Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you.

Double-teamed. Again.

Everyone was asked to come forward and get a balloon with a marker. Then either as individuals or families, the cares were to be written onto the balloons. After a blessing of the balloons, everyone was going to go outside together and release the balloons ... 

to cast all of our cares upon the Lord.

Jessi retrieved a balloon. Together we wrote some of our cares on to it. It was interesting how Jessi and I shared some of the same concerns ... in our own way:

Prosperity & Finances ... Family Connections = Her Laptop ... Future without Mom ...

 Health & Well Being of Loved Ones ... and the list goes on.

By the time we were done writing, our balloon was limp and lying on the chair. I wandered back to the front for a second balloon.

On it I wrote: "My first balloon was too heavy. It needed a friend to help it fly." I tied the two together ... hoping the stamina of the second balloon would be enough to support them both ... before heading outside.

A blessing was said over the balloons. Then came the release. There was a slight breeze that lifted some quickly ... and others more slowly ... depending on the amount of helium left in each one.

Ours was the only tandem offering. It was a little slower to rise than the others.

It was interesting to watch as the majority of the balloons were caught up ... and then gently drifting as a group towards the road and over the old furniture store that is Grace.

Our offering, however, did not follow the group. It rose slowly at first ... then catching a breeze ... it soared more quickly in the opposite direction. Away from the road. 

Carrying my cares ... to the Lord ... in its own way ... along a different path.

As my balloons drifted into a cluster of trees ... a yellow butterfly dipped & darted by its side
... and the familiar whisper came ... "Everything's going to be ok, MaryJane."

The familiar laugh of my best friend, God - Creator of the Universe, surrounded me. As always, I am humbled and amazed every single time I experience the awe of His presence ... and His attention to the details of my life.

When fear feels bigger than my faith

And struggles steal my breath away

When my back's pressed up against the wall

With the weight of my worries stacked up tall

You're strong enough to hold it all

I will cast my cares ... I will cast my cares ... I will cast my cares ... on you.

(Cast My Cares by Finding Favour)

(c)lifelessons-mj 2016

Chimney Calls

A string of setbacks.  One lousy thing ... after another ... and another.  That's what the week had been like ... seriously ... that's what the month has been like. 

Somehow I thought the new year was going to change all of that.

So far ... it has not.

There has been car trouble.  And family situations. And a stupid speeding ticket. Things have been lost. Confidences have been broken.

It was the morning after the meeting that came as a blindside ... the one that opened with name-calling and ended with veiled threats to the happiness of one of the ones I love most.

What is one to do when standing up for what's right ... costs so much more
than simply backing down?!?

There was a brittleness in the air that morning as I drank my coffee ... and he drank his cocoa.

Wa-hoo!

A loud bird call broke the silence.  Taboo craned his neck straight over his back so that his cat-eyes could stare at the fireplace upside down.  Startled  ... and drawn as if by a magnet to the call.

"Was that an owl?" he asked.

"I don't know," came my reply. "Maybe."

Wa-hoo!

The call came again.  It sounded as if it was right in the room with us. 
I headed for the door as he strode to the fireplace.

"It's coming from here," he said. "It must be inside the chimney!"

Carefully I opened the door to the screened in porch and stepped out.  As I reached the outer patio the persistent call came again.

Wa-hoo!

From inside he insisted, "It's in the chimney!  The bird must be stuck down in the chimney!"

I looked up to the rooftop. And there He sat.
Calm. Serene. Unruffled. Larger than life.

A humongous dove ... was perched on top of the chimney.

He met my gaze with a steady stare.  After what seemed like several minutes ... but was probably just a second or two ... He turned and gracefully flew away.

"It was a dove," I cried. "Sitting up on the chimney top.  The BIGGEST dove I have ever seen!"

Back inside we marveled at the experience.

Three times the dove called down the chimney ... so that His call would be heard by us ...
on the inside.

It was deliberate ... undeniable ... direct. In the blink of an eye, the hopelessness in the air had ... vanished.

"I had a visit from a dove a few years ago," I said excitedly.  "It was amazing. I blogged about it at the time."

Urgently, I began searching for it.  It took a little while to find ... Odds (August 4, 2012)

I was unprepared as I began reading outloud.  Sharing the first dove story with him that morning.

Over more coffee. More cocoa.

My voice broke. Tears wet my cheeks. Amazing how this string of setbacks resonated with those on that other day.

A quick Google search confirmed
... then and now ... an appearance of a dove is
an encounter with the Holy Spirit.

Broken. I was.  Humbled by this personal reminder that God is faithful. He never changes.  And His Word is the same ... from everlasting to everlasting.

"It was God calling to us," I told him. "Did you hear Him?"

~ photo by Bill Fagan 9.23.13

"Yes. I did."

Three times ... that morning ... God called down the chimney.

Once for Taboo. Once for Roland. Once for me.

Each message is different. Personal. Special.

God only knows what He said to Taboo.

Then He waited patiently for me to come out ... to see ... Him.

Odd.  Only the day before I had asked Him ... to show me His glory.



(c) lifelessons-mj 2016

Post Thanksgiving

It was the day after Thanksgiving when the rain began.
And since then it has rained ... and rained ... and rained.

The day before, I gave thanks for my family, new opportunities, plans ... and the unconditional love that seemed to be permeating the gathering.

Then all hell broke loose.

First the yard flooded.  Just like every time it has ever rained at this house.  Then somehow the bathrooms were overflowed.  Water was sloshing around under the floors.  In both downstairs bathrooms ... and the hall.

It made no sense where all of the water was pooling.

Give thanks ... with a grateful heart ... give thanks to the holy One ...

The song had been playing as an undercurrent in my heart for days. By Saturday, when the second backflow-flooding took place ... it was becoming harder and harder ... to sing along.

And the rain kept falling ... and falling.

Dry inside but there was no toilet flushing ... showering ... laundering ... going on this weekend as we waited for the water to recede once again.

Everyone decided to attend church.  A new song filled my heart ... Your glory is so beautiful!

Lost in the singing ... eyes closed ... I offered up my silent prayer.

Lord, I am weary and overwhelmed.  The rain's are falling and the darkness is beginning to surround me. Speak directly into my life. I need to hear You. Show me Your glory! 

The message was about being content no matter what the circumstances. Brother Del took a jab at "choosing happy".  He shared some archaic philosophical writings that had to do with eliminating desires and emotions ... likening it to the propensity of ... choosing happy.

Choosing happy ... saved my life.  I believe it's possible to choose happy ... without giving up my desires or my emotions ... by faith and acceptance of God's will for my life.

And still it rained.  And rained. And rained.

Maintain.  That was the best I could muster ... the rest of the day.

Progress was made with the floors drying. An ongoing battle with the antenna ensued.

Snow was falling in Denver as I struggled to catch a glimpse of a beautiful young friend at the stadium ... only a week or so into her newest adventure.

A random personal connection keeps me from ever pulling for the Patriots.  And the MJ in me always pulls for the underdog. So I was trying to get lost in the game ... with the second string quarterback ... the game that was declared "over" here on the home front within the first 3 minutes.

Faith. Persistence. Courage. That's what brought the Broncos into overtime ... to a truly miraculous win ... against the unbeaten Super Bowl champions.


Their victory helped to keep my feelings of defeat at bay ... a little.

Today. Still raining.
There was nothing that I had to do today ... so I decided to just lay low. Stay home.

Around 3 o'clock, I decided that I would slip out to the bank and grocery store.
Just a quick trip to nearby and neighborly places.

Stopped at the stoplight in the center of town.  There was big Ford truck in front of me.  A sedan-like car in front of him.

Light turns green.  Sedan moves forward. Truck moves forward.  I take my foot off the brake and ease forward. Sedan slams on brakes. Truck slams on brakes. I slam on brakes ... slip and slide into the trailer hitch of the truck.

Sedan drives off. Truck moves into a parking lot.  I pull in, too.  Nice young man jumps out apologizing for stopping so abruptly.

"We were barely moving, there's no damage to my truck" he says. "Is your car ok?"

I had to laugh.  Of course, there's damage to my car.  It's an Audi with plastic parts.

Limped over to see my friends at the body shop.  On the way the coolant light came on and by the time I stopped there steam was blowing out from under the hood.

So, yeah, there's body damage ... to the front ... again.  And possibly a radiator to be replaced.

As my body shop friend drove me home, he shared his Thanksgiving weekend story. It's not really my story to tell ... but it had to do with an out-of-town relative making a parking garage out of the recently completed addition to his home.

Somehow I felt a little better.  And I know that he shared his sad story with me ... for that very reason.

A conversation with my brother ... who is also one of my best friends ... brought perspective to the situation as well.  Bottomline is ... it's only money.

 Our conversations always bounce back and forth between what's going on in his life and what's going on in mine.  It was interesting to me that he asked me if I ever had any fears?

Funny, I thought I had always taken my fears to him.

Anyway, he helped me to stop and smile at all of the signs that God sends me ... to show me that He's always near ... and in control. 

When I gathered my things from my car this afternoon, I looked down on the driver side floorboard.  There was a penny.  Just laying there.  It wasn't there when I left home.  My purse was on the passenger seat so there's no way it fell out on impact.

The penny ... in-God-we-trust-side up ... caught me by surprise.  Just like so many other times.

I shared that with my brother.  I told him that it was a reminder of how God always shows up ... in small ways ... in big ways.

He said I should take a few minutes and make a list of things I was grateful for right now.  It sounded like something I would tell him to do.   I am the Gratitude Challenge promoter extraordinaire, after all.

Today I am thankful for a brother who is also a friend; a God who never leaves my side; the best friends in the universe; and a faith that allows me to accept the setbacks with confidence and grace.

The weatherman on the radio says there will be sunshine tomorrow before returning to the music.

Do you hear what I hear? A song. A song. Is ringing through the night.  It will bring us goodness and light.

(c)www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com
November 2015

Cuts Like A Knife ...

Jessica recently found herself with a tidy sum of "extra" money.  Enough money that some consideration needed to be made on how to spend it.

She wasn't allowed to use it on gifts for others.  She had to spend it on things for herself.

In the past there has been a great deal of communication with me about how Jessica spends her money at such times.  This time not so much.

A new couch ... because the one she brought when she moved in was ... ahem ... a "danger" to her. It was not but that's a another story.  A nightstand sized dresser to replace a broken down shelf thingy that was there when she moved in. A mop.

And ... a set of steak knives.

That's the list that was come up with on her behalf.

Steak knives.  It was an interesting choice.  Jessi is living independently. Her cooking primarily involves frozen dinners and entrees that she can heat in the microwave.  Pretty much nothing that would require more than an ordinary butter knife to cut up.

I was told that she specifically asked for the steak knives.  That she was adamant that it was something that she wanted and needed. Sometimes she gets something in her head and than she fixates on it until she gets it.  Jessi is funny like that at times.

I figured this must be one of those times.

Sometime last week all of her purchases had been made and I went over to see her new things.  She showed me the new couch and the new nightstand.  The old broken down shelf thingy was still there ... as well as the broken television shoved in a corner that was replaced almost a year ago.

The old couch is at my house.  After a cursory inspection , it was discovered that there wasn't a thing wrong with it after all. As I said, that's a different story.

"Did you get your steak knives?" I asked.
Yes was the prompt reply.

"Why did you want steak knives, Jessi?" I pressed.
 "I don't know. I didn't ask for steak knives, Mom," she replied. "She told me that's what I should say I wanted ... so I did."

I went into the kitchen and began opening drawers.  There were no steak knives to be found.
"Where are they?" I asked.
"In the cookie jar." she replied.

I lifted the lid of her sweet cookie jar ... a house-warming gift from someone who wanted her to feel special every day ... sure enough ... there were the steak knives ... handles down ... sharp pointed ends up.

"Why are they in your cookie jar?" I asked.
"I don't know," said Jessi. "She said to put them there so I wouldn't cut myself by accident when I reached into the drawer."

Interesting.

Wonder what happens to the friend who wanders into Jessi's kitchen and reaches into the cookie jar ... in anticipation of a treat?!?

In a different conversation with a different loved one ... it was said ...

"I don't ever mean to hurt you, MaryJane.  I guess ... I just don't consider you."

It took a minute to recognize the wound ... much like a paper cut ... only bigger  ... surprisingly painful ... it's not a fresh cut ... just one that seems to be taking forever ... to heal.

Truth is, it had been explained that way to me once before. I wasn't quite ready to ... get it ... the first time. You see, it's one thing to be deliberately left out for whatever reason ... when it's a conscious choice.  It's something entirely different ... to simply not be considered at all.

Now that it's been said to me twice, I believe it.  It was said to me with such kindness, after all.

On the way home, I laughed into the wind at the irony of it.

You see ... that's what happens when you reach an unsuspecting hand into a cookie jar ... full of steak knives ... hoping to find something sweet.

“Most scars are invisible. Damn transparent knives. Does anything cut deeper than love? 

 ~Jarod Kintz 

(c) www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com

April 2015