Defining Moments.....

Sunday morning. I woke up cranky & still tired.....and weary of the stressy feeling that just keeps creeping up on me when I am so close to being happy....maybe it's because I am so close to being happy....

Arrived at church and sat down in my same spot....the one that Jessi has claimed as "ours"...on the end of the row. A friend plopped down in my seat....squeezing in there with me...whispering, "Scoot over so I can sit with you.....I am only going to be here for the music....and I just want to sit with you..." So, naturally, I did......and then she started sharing with me her news.....and it wasn't good news....and we sang awesome songs about God's grace and faithfulness....amidst our faults and failures.....and there we were both singing with tears streaming down our faces.....*sigh*

....defining moments...

Randomly, I started tossing that phrase around a week or so ago....because it seems to sum up the urgency, the pent-up energy, the need to move forward.....that seems to be in the air....

And God has been sending me messages....through friends....through circumstances...through Facebook...through my quirky horoscopes....pressing...prodding...pushing me to do things that are uncomfortable...all the while repeating the promises He has been making me for a very long time....specific promises....and now demanding more specific actions.....more deliberate calls to obedience....and I am thinking ok, God....I AM willing to go there with You....but how about a little bit of evidence this time that somehow what I am saying or doing actually matters....makes a difference.....or causes some reaction that would be in line with Your plan....even if I don't have a clue how any of THIS fits into Your plan....or even what YOUR plan is...

Because....guess what....I am tired.....of waiting.....for something to happen....for what's coming next....for the desires of my heart....

For the last week, I have been telling myself & others that it's time for choices to be made....priorities to be re-evaluated....new plans to be put in place....and new focus so that I can start moving my life forward in this new direction.....

So it was really no surprise when I got to church and Del said, "Today we are going to be talking about redefining things....redefining relationships....it's a constant thing...redefining...."

...and we had just sung "You NEVER change....You NEVER fail...o God!"

So there I was .... tears still wet on my face....and God was saying to me (through Del).....it's time for you to be REDEFINING SOME IMPORTANT STUFF!

Not hard stuff...basic, fundamental stuff...important stuff...

I really didn't need the validation....I already knew that... I have been on it for days...

Had a friend say something yesterday about how I might be taking what God's telling me and then trying to apply it to one specific situation when that isn't what He's talking about at all...

...or something like that. LOL.

I did admit that it was possible at times for me to do that....but the last couple of weeks, God has been very very specific...just like this morning....hard to dispute what God was telling me----regroup, set your priorities, quit wasting your time on things and people who aren't bringing value to your life, focus on what needs to be done in the weeks ahead to move your life forward....when it's said outloud there for everyone to hear--

Let's talk about REDEFINING SOME IMPORTANT STUFF!

So here I am....doing exactly that....I have made my short-term, interim choices....and maybe even a couple of long-term, permanent ones.....and I am determined to stay focused on the plan and not let myself be distracted from what I know is best for me.....even when it means stepping back....and waiting....impatiently waiting patiently....for something to change....or to happen....or to appear...or to disappear ...or nothing at all....or something I can't even imagine...

Hopefully, I am finally finding my way out of my mud bath. I know we all have those places....and that I have to go through the down places to get to the happy place....and I know that when I find myself in the down-and-outs...those times are important....even if they are tough & not-so-fun while I am wallowing in the mud...there is healing....and learning....and other special things to be found in that place...

Sometimes we need some trench time in order for us to be prepared to experience something we have never experienced before....and sometimes those low times are used to show us that the way we are living simply isn't working.....that we have somehow found ourselves in the WRONG place....

And it doesn't really matter how we got there.....or how long we've been there.....what's important is figuring out how to move forward...to start overcoming the obstacles, one-at-a-time...between where we are (the WRONG place) and the life we want to be living....and that's where redefining the important stuff comes into play...

Sitting back and waiting for something to happen...isn't going to work....it's up to me to take charge of my life....to make the choices that lead to postive changes....and then to start doing those things ---even if it's hard---to start living again....

*Sigh* I am tired of always coming in second to the vacuous things....always trying harder....in a contest that I can't win....

So I am embracing this defining moment in my life....it's exciting....the adventure is enticing...

...and I am ....

Choosing happy...

...and I can't wait for it to finally find me!


www.lifelessons-mj.blogspot.com

Things I Am Thinking About.....

Signs....sometimes I see them...sometimes I don't....most of the time I don't undertand them, I guess

Impatiently waiting patiently

Relationships that last for decades

Faith....keeping the faith....having faith....living by faith....

Conundrums

Random encounters....interesting conversations....and then what comes next!?!

synchronicity

rainbows and other harbingers of change

how do I get THERE from HERE?!?!

...and thinking I sure do hope we find some of those smiles that light up the universe very soon....it's been quite a while since once just showed up....now THAT would make my day!